


You're an Umbra Harry

by Unwritten_Future



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: More names as they become relevent, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:07:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unwritten_Future/pseuds/Unwritten_Future
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One chilly night, Bayonetta finds a child left on the doorstep of an unwelcoming home. She decides to take matters into her own hands, and the rest as they say, is history</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the chill of night

The night was cold, wet, and absolutely filled with Applauds and Affinities. Bayonetta grinned. “My, my! This is my kind of party! You boys are certainly out in force! What’s got you lot all hot under the collar?”

The lower ranking Paridisians didn’t usually speak to her, but to her surprise, one of the ones near her did. In its strange garbled language it said, “The balance of power has shifted, and the chosen is corrupted.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, not that shit again.” She readied her guns.

The Applaud let out a garbled shout and swung its staff at her.

Bayonetta’s smile turned feral. “Let’s dance boys!”

~***~

Idly twirling one of her newly acquired halos, Bayonetta wandered down the street. She had come to England as a favor to Rodin, who said that the boys downstairs were getting very antsy over the place.

Judging by the sheer number of Paradiso angels she’d encountered so far, the concerns were justified. Not to mention the odd sights she’d seen. There had been a deluge of shooting stars in a town called Kent, and the number of owls flying about in daylight was baffling. “It’s almost like nature itself is having a temper tantrum.” She mused.

She paused. “More of those people in cloaks! They’ve been everywhere today!” Drawing a sigil and stepping through into Purgatorio, she stalked towards them. “Let’s see if we can find what this shit is about.”

As she approached, she heard the female of the group speak. “They’re the worst sort of muggles imaginable! They really are-“

“The only family he has left now.” A man with a beard that could rival her hair said.

“He’ll be famous Albus! Everyone in our world will know his name!”

The man with the beard nodded.”Exactly Minerva! Famous before he can walk and talk. He’ll be much better off growing up away from all that.” He produced a sheet of paper that Bayonetta recognized to be parchment. “I’ve written a letter explaining things.” He took the infant from the third person, who was possibly the largest human she had ever seen.

The man leaned over and gave the infant what must have been a very scratchy kiss on the forehead. Then he let out a great hiccupping sob.

“Now really Hagrid!” The woman said, sounding scandalized.

“Sorry professor.” He sniffed.

Placing the infant on the doorstep, the other man patted him gently. “Now, now, you’ll meet again.”

The group hung abut for a few more minutes before the old one gently shooed them. He watched the woman turn on the spot and vanish, and the large man get on a motorcycle. Bayonetta was startled to see it take off into the sky.

The old man stayed for a while longer, before he too turned on the spot and vanished.

 

~***~

Several hours later the front door was opened by a boney looking woman, who promptly screamed and dropped the bottles of milk she was holding. The noise woke the infant, which started to fuss.

Bayonetta used the moment of confusion to slip through the open door. The interior was so pristine that it hurt to look at.

The slamming of the door made her turn around. The woman was clutching the infant and the now open letter. Bayoneta followed her into the kitchen.

Sitting in a chair, the woman shook her head. “We’ve already got one infant! The last thing I need is one belonging to that blasted sister of mine!” She shook her head again. “What on earth am I going to tell Vernon?!”

Making up her mind, Bayonetta strode out of Purgatorio. “That a woman came to pick up her child.”

The woman let out strangled squeak. Outside of Purgatorio, her face was revealed be a combination of pinched and horselike.

Ignoring the outburst, she continued. “I’ve already watched him all night, and I think he should go where he’s wanted.” Holding out her arms she said, “Unless you really _do_ want to raise him.”

Composing herself, the woman sniffed. “You hardly look like mother material.”

Bayonetta rolled her eyes, but kept her arms extended.

The woman sighed. Then she handed the infant over. “You’re right. I don’t.” She thrust the letter at her. “Probably better with you anyway. You and all the rest of those freaks.”

A loud rumble came from upstairs. “Pet? Is someone here?”

The woman flinched. “No Vernon! I just forgot to turn the telly off last night!” To Bayoetta she said, “Get out of here!”

Bayonetta smirked and opened the back door before drawing another sigil. Stepping into Purgatorio she said, “No worries. With luck, you’ll never see me again.”

The woman merely sniffed, looking pleased.

In the strange realm between realities, Baynetta traced the infant’s scar. “Well my dear-”she checked the letter- “Harry. Let’s go home.” Smiling down at the brilliant green eyes staring up at her, she turned and headed for the gate. “On the way, we can figure out how to tell Jeanne she’s an aunt.”


	2. InfernalComplications

It was a few minutes into her walk to the rendezvous that Bayonetta realized someone was following them. “Now who’s sneaking around?”

The culprit was fairly easy to spot. A tall, robed person was striding about with a stick, which was pointed unerringly at them. He kept waving it every few seconds.

“Well now, we can’t have that!” She traced a circle on the ground with one foot and placed Harry inside as a barrier sprang up. “Stay here little one. I’ll be back soon.” She stepped back and tapped her feet to the ground, cocking Toccata and Nocturne. Then she opened a gate out of Purgatorio and launched herself forward.

Outside of Purgatorio, the man resolved into a tall figure in jet black robes with a stark white mask. He raised his stick and started to shout something, pointing it like a weapon. She could see a glow beginning to form on the tip, and she transitioned into a roll, activating witch time and causing the jet of red light to go wide, as time seemed to slow to a crawl. She came up and launched a kick that sent the stick spinning out of his hand into the night. Then she brought her foot down in a stomp, summoning Madama Butterfly’s foot through a portal and bringing the man crashing to the pavement.

He groaned and rolled over as she placed a foot to his head, Nocturne’s barrel aimed at his face. “Who the bloody hell are you?”

Bayonetta just pressed her foot down harder. “I think I should be asking _you_ that. Not many people can track me when I’m in Purgatorio.”

The man shoved uselessly at her foot. “I wasn’t after you! I don’t even know who you are! I was after the Potter’s spawn! The Dark Lord wants him dead!”

Potter…Her mind flashed back to the letter. That was Harry’s last name if she remembered it correctly. _Well, no sense taking chances_ , she thought. “In that case I’m afraid that makes me your enemy. Say goodnight and do give Inferno my regards.” The man let out a shout as she shoved her foot, discharging the gun and shattering the mask along with his face. She waited until he stopped moving before producing a handkerchief and cleaning off the blood.

Throwing the ruined scrap away she sighed. “This is why I prefer killing angels. Everything dissolves when they die.” She traced a sigil and stepped back into Purgatorio. Picking Harry back up, she frowned. “From the sounds of things, the sooner we get you out of here little one, the better.”

Harry just burbled something at her and blinked.

Bayonetta smiled and adjusted her grip before hurrying back towards the rendezvous.

~***~

To her surprise, Enzo wasn’t alone at the plane. Rodin himself was there, looking somewhat harassed.

“Tell me you got something figured out baby.” Then he spotted her cargo. “What the _hell_ is that?”

Bayonetta smirked. “Funny you should say baby. I’ve…acquired a little one of my own.”

The cigar dropped from Enzo’s mouth. “ _You?!_ A _mother?!_ ” The portly man shuddered and picked it back up. “Fuck. That gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it!”

Bayonetta ignored him. “One of the angels said that the balance of power has shifted, and that the chosen is corrupted.”

Rodin’s face twitched, ever so slightly. “Beautiful.”

“I don’t think this is like when Da-Balder died. There were a lot of angels flying about, but none of them were very high ranking.” She paused. “And I ended up killing a human. He was tracking the little one somehow while we were in Purgatorio.”

At this, Rodin looked more closely. “There’s something different about him. Someone’s rammed their soul into him. Someone strong. Whatever’s in there ain’t a run of the mill demon soul.”

Enzo grinned as Harry blinked up at him. Cigar twisting sideways he tickled the baby, grin widening as he laughed. “Eh whatever, cute little fucker, ain’t he?”

Bayonetta gave him a look. “Of course he is.”

Noting the possessiveness, Enzo backed away.

Rodin frowned as he caught sight of the baby’s scar. “Bayonetta…That ain’t a normal mark. It’s got something nasty in it, something to do with the other soul. And it’s gonna send him straight to Inferno.”

Even Enzo froze. “You’re fucking kidding right?!” He waved a hand around. “He’s barely a year old, if that!”

Rodin shook his head. “Speaking as a former resident of Paradiso, I can tell you it won’t matter to them. He’ll never get taken up there. The Infernals might not take him right away, but it’d be a damn sight better there than being forced to wander around Purgatorio for all eternity.”

Enzo eyed Bayonetta. “And I thought _you_ had bad luck! This poor kid’s been fucked over before he can even make a choice!”

Bayonetta eyed him before taking Harry back from Rodin and cradling him in one arm. “Well then, we’ll just have to see to it that he gets a proper turn up here. Purgatorio is _not_ the sort of place one should wander about in for very long. You stay there for too long, and you’ll _really_ lose your way.” She looked at Rodin. “There’s nothing you can do?”

Rodin shook his head and blew out a cloud of smoke. “I _will_ get the other soul out, I want to tinker with it. But that won’t change the fact that he’s been marked.”

Bayonetta hissed out a curse. “Wonderful.” She turned and jumped into the plane. “Come Enzo. We should get home and do some baby shopping.”

Enzo grumbled something but got into the pilot seat. “You and your fucking ideas.”

He yelped when she pinched his ear. “Come now Enzo, enough of the language. There are delicate ears aboard.”

“Bayonetta.” She glanced up as Rodin threw his cigar away. “You get to explain this to Jeanne.”

She smirked. Ignoring Enzo’s muttered expletives, she said, “Leave it to me.”

~***~

As turned out, Jeanne was relatively easy to convince. Once she was sure the child hadn’t been outright stolen, at any rate. “ _Cereza!_ ” She sounded scandalized. “You _kidnapped_ a child?!”

Bayonetta clutched at Harry. “Of course not!” She pouted. “I wanted him, and his aunt didn’t. She was more than happy to give him up.”

Jeanne tossed her head, looking exasperated. “You make it sound more like you found a puppy somewhere, rather than a child.” She eyed the tower of boxes that was being carried by a puffing Enzo. Deftly catching one that slid off the top, she tossed it in one hand. “Rodin made it sound worse than it was, I suppose. And how did you even find him?”

Bayonetta tossed her head, readjusting her rose laden hat. “I spent the night killing angels, and watched him get left on a doorstep.”

Jeanne paused. “A doorstep.”

“With a note.”

“A note?” She took the proffered item and read it, her expression slowly growing blanker. Finally she handed it back. “Given the options, I can see why you did it. What’s that made out of anyway?”

“Parchment. Odd thing for someone to be writing on.”

Jeanne made a face. “That seems familiar, but for the life of me I can’t remember why.” She flung the box back on top of the pile. “We’ll meet back at the house then. I’ll help you with the paperwork.”

“So you agree.”

“From what Rodin told me, he’s better off with us. Has he taken the other soul out yet?”

“It’s on the agenda.” She shifted Harry to her other arm, grinning as he watched Jeanne’s hair sway. “Rodin says that the sooner it’s done, the better, before it has a chance to properly settle in.”

Jeanne shrugged. “He’s the weapon smith. I suppose he should know.”

Bayonetta’s lips twisted. “The actual process is a lot less romantic than it looks, believe me.” She frowned. “Right now I’m more concerned about Luka. He’s dropping by the Gates of Hell tomorrow. I’m not even sure how to begin to explain things to him.”

“Leave it to Rodin.”

Bayonetta turned and eyed the walking mountain of boxes. “Why Enzo, that’s the most sensible thing you’ve said all day.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbled. “We done here? If I miss dinner, the wife’s gonna let me have it!”

“One last stop.” She promised. To Jeanne she said, “I’ll see you tonight then. I don’t suppose you can talk Rodin into dealing with Luka?” She gave Jeanne a pleading look.

Jeanne rolled her eyes. “I can _try_. Fine. I was going there for a drink anyway. The things I do for you Cereza.”

She sauntered off, leaving Bayonetta to guide Enzo into another shop.

Stumbling over the threshold and dropping a few boxes, he shouted, “You two witches are real pieces of work, you know that!”


	3. The Great Luka

“Hey.” Luka’s friendly greeting meant one of two things. Either he had had all the facts calmly explained to him, or he was too frightened of Rodin to protest. Given Rodin’s usual less than talkative demeanor, Bayonetta was betting on the latter. “This the kid you stole?”

Inwardly Bayonetta sighed. _Definitely the latter then._ Aloud, she said. “I didn’t _steal_ anything. This time anyway. He was freely given.”

“Uh huh. How much of that was from you being intimidating?”

She shrugged. “Not much. His aunt seemed quite glad to be rid of him.”

“Rodin said he’s got someone else’s soul in him.”

She nodded and put Harry down on her lap, handing him one of the new toys she had bought, a large stuffed cat. Harry cooed happily and enthusiastically began to chew on one large ear. Smiling, she said, “That’s why we’re here today. Rodin seemed confident he could remove it.”

“I know I can baby.” Rodin appeared out of thin air behind the bar, and proceeded to toss back a goblet full of something rose colored that was smoking slightly. Slamming the empty container back on the counter, he wiped his mouth. “Seems your friends downstairs were pretty pleased with all the angels you sent their way. Made them a little more talkative.”

“Oh?”

“Apparently the folks in Paradiso were up in arms because there was an upheaval in power, and they weren’t the ones to do it. Inferno is angry because they weren’t able to get their piece of the action. Basically no one won.”

“So that mess the other day was a pissing contest between the trinity?”

Rodin nodded and picked up Harry, cat and all, placing him on the counter. “Pretty much. Earth just got caught in the middle as usual, since its native powerhouses prefer to remain neutral.” He stared down at Harry. “Now let’s see about getting this other soul out of _you_.”

Harry looked up at him and seemed to twitch for a second, then he started chewing on his cat again, though he kept shooting glances at Rodin. As this was a typical reaction to concentrated attention from Rodin from people of _all_ ages, Bayonetta wasn’t terribly concerned. She still put a hand on his back, however, rubbing it in circles.

Rodin ruffled his hair. “Promise it won’t hurt.” Under his breath he added, “If I can help it.” This seemed to calm Harry, and he watched with interest as Rodin started setting up tools, though Bayonetta was willing to bet that it was simply because they were shiny.

“Speaking of the other day.” Luka tossed Bayonetta a newspaper. “I had a stopover in London this morning on my way back from Sri-Lanka. That you’re handiwork?”

She frowned and read aloud, “Manhunt continues for killer of wealthy industrialist.”

Flipping the paper open, she continued. “The hunt is on for the killer of industrialist Johnathon Edgecombe, who was found dead in Surrey the morning after Halloween. His wife called law enforcement after her husband failed to return from a costume party the night before. Police say he was still in costume, consisting of black robes and a white mask, at the time of murder. According to forensics, the assailant shot Mister Edgecombe in the face at what appears to be point blank range. Anyone with information should inform their local law enforcement, a reward is being offered for valid information. Longtime family friend Lucius Malfoy was unavailable for comment.”

She tossed the newspaper back. “Judging by the description, I’d say that’s the man I killed, yes.”

Luka frowned. “Since when do you go after humans? They’re aren’t exactly your usual angelic fare.”

Bayonetta watched as Rodin’s equipment began to glow, creating a mystical sigil with Harry in the center. “He was tracking the little one while we were in Purgatorio. Apparently he served a master who wanted him dead.”

Luka blinked. “Wants him dead?! How old is the kid?”

“A little over a year, according to the letter that he was left on a doorstep with.”

Luka’s expression turned thunderous, but before he could say anything, Rodin made a pleased noise. “Got ya now.” He was making peculiar motions with a metal stick that was engraved in something written in Enochian. Something black as night was being pulled from Harry’s scar, appearing to fight every single step of it.”

Luka looked sick. “What the hell is that?!”

Sucking the cloud of darkness into a vessel, Rodin sat back, looking somewhat winded. “ _That_ was the other soul. Nasty piece of work. Powerful too.”

“Planning on making a weapon with it?”

Rodin grinned. “We’ll see. If I can beef it up, then definitely. It’s fragmented somehow, like it’s only a piece. If nothing else, I can make it into his first guns for you.”

Luka waved his hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. _You_ -“ he pointed at Bayonetta, “-are raising _him_?!”

She eyed him. “I fail to see how it’s any of your concern. He’ll be wanted, well fed, and the Chain Chomp likes him, so he’ll have a good pet.”

Luka drew his feet up reflexively as said creature bounced near, barking lowly. “From what you’ve told me, the Chain Chomp likes anything that can’t get away. I was thinking more about him being condemned to Inferno, actually.”

Bayonetta sniffed. “That soul Rodin just extracted had already marked him for Inferno. I like to think I can give him a much better turn up here.” She scowled, making Luka inch back on his stool and nearly fall off. “Besides, it’s a _damn_ sight better than anything those fools who left him with had planned. _They_ dropped him on a doorstep with a note and _left_! It was hours before the household woke up, but they didn’t even hang around to make sure he survived the night!”

Luka held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Okay! I’m curious though, _can_ men learn the Umbran Arts?”

“It’s not common, but it has happened.” Luka cursed and spun as Jeanne seemed to appear behind him. “This would make Harry the…fourth. I think.” She accepted a goblet of wine from Rodin. “Usually it only happens when an Umbra Witch has a male child, which was fairly uncommon. We’re predisposed towards having girls.”

Luka appeared to file this away. “So it’s possible.” He glanced at Bayonetta. “You said something about a letter.”

Bayonetta nodded and handed it over. “I thought you’d ask to see it Chesire. Everyone else has.”

“Not a cat.” Luka mumbled. Then he flipped the note open and read aloud. “Dear Mrs. Dursley, This is your nephew, Harry James Potter, born the thirty first of last July. I regret to inform you of the passing of your sister, Lily, and her husband, James. They were killed at the hands of Lord Voldemort, a dark wizard that has, until tonight, plagued our world. I humbly ask that you please take in and care for your nephew, as you are the only family he has left now. We have placed an enchantment around your house that will protect both you and him, from the followers of Voldemort so long as he stays. This enchantment shall remain until he reaches the age of majority. I cannot stress enough the dangers of the world to child who cannot yet defend himself, and hope that you have the heart to take him in. We shall contact you again at the appropriate time. Yours sincerely, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.”

He was silent for a moment. Eventually he said, “I suppose he didn’t really give her an option, did he?” He looked at the letter for a moment. “This kind of reads like a form letter, except for wizards apparently.”

Jeanne snapped her fingers “ _That’s_ what this was reminding me of. There’s a bunch of magic workers that use wands. Survived the witch hunts by laying low.”

Bayonetta sniffed. “Wands? How very archaic.” At Luka’s confused glance, she elaborated. “We Umbra stopped using wands centuries before the witch hunts. They were too much of a liability.”

Jeanne frowned. “This Lord Voldemort seems recent. I’ll have to do some digging. I know the wand users had a foothold in Eastern Europe, might as well start there.”

“We’ll need to make a trip to Vigrid anyway.” When everyone but Harry stared at her, Bayonetta smirked. “He needs an Umbran Watch, and some of those parts can only be found in Vigrid.”

“Leave that to me.” Jeanne said. “It’ll be better if he has a new one, and I know what it needs.”

Luka hopped off the barstool, dodging an attempted nibble from the Chain Chomp. “If you can give me some tips, I’ll start looking into these wand users. Odds are good they aren’t as well hidden as they like to think.”

Rodin sighed as the two of them headed out of the bar, chattering. He sighed and rescued one of his tools from Harry’s grasp, replacing it with the cat. Harry seemed perfectly content with this, and happily began chewing on it again. “You’re gonna have one hell of a childhood kid.”

Harry just burbled and chewed harder on the cat’s ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! Headcanon time. Umbra witches stopped with wands since losing them in battle would be a huge liability, and trained their way out of needing them, thus using their hair as conduits. Also, Rodins speech about Earth's powerhouses remaining neutral is very true, since that's precisely what Aesir did, until Loptr gained power that is. The Chain Chomp falls into this category of Earth residents as it is the only one of Bayonetta's weapons explicitly stated to have been found, In Japan, rather than being demonic in origin.
> 
> Enochian is widely accepted to be the language Infernals and Paradisians speak. Bayonetta and Jeanne can understand it, and the Umbran Elder was shown to speak it frequently. Also I personally think it possible that some males would have been taught, since they didn't want to upset the balance, and even as an outcast, Bayonetta learned Umbran Arts she technically wasn't supposed to.
> 
> Starting with next chapter we will begin moving forward in time, so look forward to that!


	4. An interlude at Five

“Happy Birthday darling!” Bayonetta set the large cake that Enzo’s wife had made down on the table, the giant candle in the shape of the number five blazing merrily. “Blow out the candle and make a wish!”

Jeanne, Luka, Enzo, and Bayonetta all clapped as the flame blew out. Harry laughed as a camera flash went off. “Aunt Jeanne!”

Jeanne giggled and waved the camera about. “Sorry sweetie! Have to have a picture of the birthday boy on his birthday, its tradition!”

Bayonetta glanced at the other three photos on the wall. The one for his second birthday depicted a rather large mess with a hugely grinning baby in a high-chair. Harry had still been at the stage where food was both a toy and nourishment. The resultant explosion of cake and other foods had taken several hours to clean up, though only because Jeanne had started a full-fledged food fight. Luka had proved to be a fairly good shot. The other two pictures were much less messy, and more traditional.

Luka cut the cake and started serving pieces. “And one nice big one for the birthday boy.”

“Thanks, Mister Chess.”

Bayonetta tried and failed to suppress a smirk. Much to Luka’s chagrin, Harry had picked up on her often used nickname for the journalist. Unfortunately, he had done so shortly after learning how to speak, and thus was unable to say the full “Cheshire”. He had therefore settled for “Mister Chess”, after some coaxing from Jeanne, who found the entire thing hilarious.

Luka liked to refer Jeanne as the “Master Instigator.”

“Fantastic cake of Clarissa’s Enzo. Pity she couldn’t be here.”

The round man huffed. “Yeah. She wanted to, but Ed and Edna had the flu. Those two share _everything_.”

When Harry finished his cake, Bayonetta produced a small box from one of the cabinets. “I have a very special present for you this year Harry!”

The five year old looked up from his plate. “What is it mommy?”

Bayonetta smiled and held out the box. “It’s something very important, and the first step towards being an Umbra.”

Harry carefully opened the box and pulled out what appeared to be a large shiny disc of white metal with a small emerald set in it. “What’s this?”

“An Umbran watch darling.” Bayonetta pressed a button, popping the lid open, revealing the face, and the crescent moon shaped emeralds set in a ring around it.

She produced a chain and threaded it through a slot in the back. “Your Aunt Jeanne and I crafted it. Never take it off and always take good care of it.”

Harry nodded and grinned as she slipped it around his neck. “Yes Mommy.” She ruffled his hair as Jeanne and Luka started bringing in the rest of the presents.

“Good boy. Now open the rest.” She smirked as he started tearing into presents.

~***~

Luka waved her over as Harry was exclaiming over the new storybooks Enzo had gotten him.

“I must admit, I didn’t think you’d make it here today Cheshire.”

He waved it off. “Like I was going to miss the kid’s party. I caught a red-eye flight.” He set the remainder of his cake on the ground, watching as the Chain Chomp ate it, paper plate and all. “That thing will never fail to disturb me somehow.” He shook his head. “Anyways, I may have found out who that Voldemort character is.”

This caught her attention. “And?”

“Apparently he’s the wand users’ version of the boogeyman. You so much as say the name and they freak, spill food all over themselves, you get the idea. Turns out he terrorized most of Britain, and England in general a few years back. He was eventually stopped when a spell he cast n Harry backfired on him, killing him.”

He leaned forward. “That’s not the most interesting part though. Some rumors say he made a deal with a demon.”

Jeanne appeared at his shoulder. “Which one?”

Luka shook his head. “Like I said, it’s just a rumor. If it _is_ true, no one knows which one it was. All I know for sure is that he was after Harry there. No one knows _why_ though.”

They watched as Harry neatly wrangled Enzo into reading from the books. They were quiet for a moment, watching the portly man begin reading The Wizard of Oz.

After a moment, Bayonetta smiled. “Wrapped around his finger already. Such a quick study.”

Jeanne snorted. “As if that’s difficult. Enzo loves kids.”

“True enough. Still, it’s a good start. He’s getting there with Rodin too.”

“Where is he anyway?” Jeanne asked as she passed around wine.

Luka took the glass she handed him. “Poking around Greece for his latest weapon project. He left his present to Harry with me. It’s that box that looks like a chess board. He made him some angel action figures, or something like that. Said it’s never too early to learn his targets.”

Bayonetta grinned as she passed Enzo a can of beer. “Now that’s certainly true. How did you find out about Voldemort?”

Luka pulled out a pair of glasses with three stars on the bridge. “Rodin’s glasses do more than just let me see into Purgatorio apparently.” He swung them idly. “Turns out there’s this cute little pub in London that people without magic can’t see. It’s called the Leaky Cauldron.”

Both Bayonetta and Jeanne snorted.

Luka ignored this. “Definitely a magic place. Nothing like the stuff you two do though.”

Jeanne made a face at him. “There’s a reason we call ourselves the last of the Umbra you know.”

Luka grinned. “Yeah, I know, no giant, vicious, Infernals.”

Bayonetta sniffed. “I’ll have you know Madama Butterfly likes him.”

Luka rolled his eyes. “I suspect Madama Butterfly likes him because _you_ do, not because of his own merits.”

“She gave him a lollipop.”

Luka blinked. “Well, ok. That puts a different spin on things.”

Jeanne snorted. “Madama Styx likes him too, though she’s less attached than I am.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t freak out when they were summoned.”

Bayonetta waved a hand. “Frankly, I’m not. He _adored_ my panther and crow forms the first time he saw them.”

Luka shook his head. “Stop sidetracking me you two!” He pulled out a sheaf of paper and waved it around. “What the Leaky Cauldron did have, was _this_.” He handed the sheaf of paper to Bayonetta.

She flipped it over and discovered it was a newspaper. To her surprise, the front page had pictures that were actually in motion. “Verdict reached on Longbottom Torture case.” She stared at the snarling faces on the front page for a moment.

Jeanne grinned. “The Daily Prophet? Sounds a little high handed.”

Luka shrugged and held up an oversized golden coin. “Apparently they pay for it and everything else with these. They call it a Galleon.” He turned it over. “I think it’s made from real gold. There’s apparently other coins too.”

Bayonetta shook her head. “I think I prefer halos and cash.”

“You would.”

They watched the book reading for another moment. Finally, Bayonetta smirked. “Tomorrow is when things start to get tough. We’ll have to start his training.”

“How much training can you do before he makes a contract?”

“Some. Umbran flexibility training for one. I can also teach him the basics of the Witch Walk.” She paused and added, “And how to shoot. _That’s_ a must. I know Rodin has some training guns stashed away somewhere, I’ll have to ask him when he gets back.

“Don’t you need a contract to Witch Walk?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t mean _I_ can’t take him on one.”

Luka grinned. “I bet that’ll go over well. I think you two are a bad influence.”

Jeanne grinned and raised her glass in a toast “Hear, hear!”

Luka rolled his eyes. “Right. Anyway, I heard about Dumbledore there too. Seems his name comes up regularly in the paper, among other things. From what I hear, he was responsible for Harry showing up on that doorstep. Any question he’s asked about Harry usually ends with something to the effect of, “Mister Potter is safe and with family”. Accurate, if partially uninformed.” He glanced at Bayonetta. “Does he actually know Harry is here?”

She pursed her lips. “If he _does_ , he’s certainly never attempted to contact me. Apparently, it’s never been the “appropriate time”. Just as well for him I suppose.”

“What, you want to pummel him with Madama Butterfly?”

“Well, yes. But that’s really something that Harry should do with his own contract partner.”

“How does the whole contract thing work anyway?”

“Not all Infernals want to make you suffer for eternity you know. Harry’ll be old enough to summon for himself in a few years. You’re around us enough that you qualify as a viable witness, so you can watch for yourself.”

“Looking forward to it.”

The three of them clinked their wine glasses together and grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Headcanon time! I always figured that the Umbra contract was a supervised affair, given the nature of the event.
> 
> As for Madma Butterfly, she seems quite attached to Bayonetta, as she helps out wholeheartedly with the destruction of Alruane's lair, given that the two have never met, and even fist bumps Bayonetta when going up against another infernal. Bottom line, she evidently has a soft spot for Bayonetta and her kin, perhaps from long association with her.
> 
> Clarissa is my name for Enzo's wife, as she's not named in the games.
> 
> Next chapter is Harry's contract, so look forward to it!


	5. Astarte

“Now remember sweetie, we’ll be right here in case anything happens alright?”

Harry swallowed and nodded as Jean stepped back behind him. “Yes, Aunt Jeanne.”

Next to her, Luka leaned toward Bayonetta. “Are you sure he’s ready for this?”

She frowned. “Technically speaking, no one really is.” She whispered. “A picture in a book is one thing. Seeing them in the flesh is quite another.”

Harry started chanting, a strange wind whipping through the air. Luka felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. “How does this work anyway? Do you actually pick one?”

Bayonetta shook her head. “It’s more a search for an Infernal that you’ll share a rapport with.”

Furniture began to rattle and a vortex slowly began to open, tendrils of red energy spiraling out into the air.

There was a pause, and then a strange, spherical looking creature with an oddly shaped head rose through the portal.

Bayonetta hissed something in Enochian and drew back her fist. “A Malicious!”

Before she could act however, a gigantic hand erupted from the portal and snatched up the Infernal. It squeezed, causing it to let out a shriek. There was a gush of blood and the Malicious crumpled to the ground, dissolving into nothingness.

The hand drew back, and the portal widened. Then a massive head rose. The skin was dark, almost pitch black, and the hair was a messy pile of brown. Atop it was a simple headdress with a giant crescent moon on its side. Her eyes, like all Infernals, were a bright red. She rose higher, revealing a golden choker and the top half of what appeared to be a black gown.

She leaned forward and eyed him, smiling. Then she spoke, her voice surprisingly light, but filled with a rich undertone. “Ah. I see. The son of Cereza. This is a pleasant surprise.”

Out of one ear, Bayonetta could hear Jeanne giving a running translation for Luka. She discreetly cocked her guns. “Is it really?”

The infernal turned her head to look at her. “And why would it not be? Is he not requesting a pact?”

“That depends entirely on you really being who you should be.”

The Infernal smirked. “I am no Malicious, if that is what you are concerned of.” She turned back to Harry. “Do you recognize me?”

Harry nodded and swallowed. In somewhat halting Enochian he said, “You are the Lady Astarte.”

The Infernal’s smile widened. “Madama Butterfly has spoken highly of your intelligence to me. I am pleased to see she was not mistaken.”

Bayonetta’s stance shifted into something slightly more relaxed. “She rarely is.”

Astarte’s massive head nodded once. “Just so.” She rose higher, revealing her supposed gown to actually be a form of ancient toga. There was a light rustle, and a pair of gargantuan dove-like wings spread out behind her. She extended a hand, setting the bangles on her arm jingling. “So then little Umbra, will you make a pact with me? Will you trade me your soul in exchange for my wisdom and power?”

Harry swallowed nervously. Then he glanced back at Bayonetta. When she gave him an encouraging look he turned back to face Astarte, who was smiling indulgently. “I-“ He coughed and tried again. “I do so hereby swear my soul to you, Lady Astarte.”

She smile widened and she carefully picked him up. “So it has been decided, and so it shall be! You have a great future ahead of you little Umbra.”

With that, she seemed to surge forward, melting and swirling about Harry in a riot of color and sound. His watch began to glow, and he rose into the air. There was a bang, and the colors exploded outward, throwing the room into sharp relief. They watched as Harry’s shadow slowly began to warp, shifting into the shape of Lady Astarte.

Harry gasped as he began to fall. There was a moment of free-fall, then the wings of a dove burst from his back, flapping gently and slowing his descent. He landed somewhat heavily on the ground, looking winded. Bayonetta and Jeanne were at his sides in seconds.

As they hauled him up, the portal, which was still open, throbbed with arcane energy and widened immeasurably, rising off the ground to hover in front of them. There was a rustling sound, and Harry caught sight of something resembling a humanoid insect. It seemed to eye him for a moment before it spoke. To his surprise, it was in English. “Well done, young one.” Then there was a crash, and the portal vanished.

After a moment, Luka spoke. “I didn’t think they knew English.”

Bayonetta finished helping Harry up. “They do, but they rarely choose to speak it. They seem to think its beneath them to speak like humans do.” She turned to Harry. “But it spoke truly. Well done indeed.”

Jeanne nodded. “Yes. Astarte is one of the older Infernals. Her siding with you speaks well of your talents.”

“Is it normal to feel this tired?”

Bayonetta nodded. “It’s the strain from them connecting. It’ll vanish in a few days. You have some leeway until the contract fully kicks in.”

“Can’t carry out a contract without a weapon.”

“Gah!” Luka leaped away as Rodin materialized from nowhere behind him. “Do you have to do that?!”

Rodin took a drag from his cigar. “Makes life more fun.” He grinned. “Come on back to the Dump, kid. I got a little birthday present for ya.”

~***~

Once they were back at the bar, Rodin laid a cloth covered box on the table. “For your pleasure, I present to you, Night at the Opera!” He whipped the cloth away to reveal four guns that were jet black in color and had a moon shaped gem hanging from their handles. “Here we have Dafne, Carmen, Seville, and Partenope.”

Bayonetta licked her lips. “Why Rodin! You’ve outdone yourself!”

The weaponsmith grinned, his eyes shining red through his sunglasses. “Nothing but the best for you and yours, Bayonetta.” He frowned slightly. “You’d probably put a bullet in me if I did any less.”

She grinned. “You know me a little too well, Rodin.”

Rodin chuckled and turned to Harry. “Take em out back and try em out kid. I even got you some targets.”

Harry grinned and grabbed the guns, locking them into place and sprinted for the door. “Thanks Uncle Rodin!”

Jeanne sauntered after him. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t overdo it.”

Luka watched the door for a second, then took a sip of the drink Rodin handed him. “So I was back in London again last week. Have you ever heard of a goblin?”

Bayonetta scoffed. “Very low ranking Infernal. Prefers to use money to give mortals trouble. Why?”

“Because I met one. It asked me to give this letter to “Lady Cereza of the Left Eye”. Apparently they knew we work together.”

Bayonetta frowned and took the proffered letter. She flipped it open and read aloud. “To the esteemed Lady Cereza of the Left Eye, greetings. We here at Gringotts Wizarding bank have been recently appraised of your adoption of one Harry James Potter by one of our field agents. We humbly request that you please make a trip to our American branch in Times Square, New York, to settle matters of estate in connection with Mister Potter. We give you our word as one Infernal to another that all matters shall be held in utmost secrecy. If you require directions, please send a request via the enclosed return envelope. Sincerely, Gornoll, Head Goblin of Gringotts Incorporated.”

“Well, that was surprisingly polite, for an Infernal. Can you actually trust their word?”

“Goblins are always polite, unless they aren’t, Chesire. I wasn’t aware they had a bank however. Seems they’ve been branching out. And generally there’s few Infernals you _can_ trust, but a goblin always keeps their word. It’s part of the reason humans trust them so much.” She fished out the enclosed envelope, reading the address. “Main Offices, Gringotts Headquarters, London.” She flipped it over and read a small note taped to the back. “Please give this to the nearest owl, and they will be happy to transport this letter. You may have to bribe them with food first however.”

She grinned. “Looks like I have a trip to make that’s actually aboveboard for once.”

Rodin chuckled and took a sip of his own drink. “Don’t tell me you’re getting soft.”

She sniffed. “Perish the thought Rodin!” She glanced at Luka. “I don’t suppose you found out anything else while you were in London?”

“You mean besides the fact that the Goblin’s think Dumbledore is more mad than anything else? There’s a school for magic people up somewhere in Scotland. Apparently anyone without magic just sees a condemned building or something. Dumbledore’s the headmaster.”

Bayonetta made a noncommittal noise as she wrote something out and put it in the envelope. “And the name?”

“Hogwarts.”

Rodin raised an eyebrow. “Now that name brings back memories. Lot of angels getting killed back in the early days. They had their own Umbra bodyguard back then. Right up until they got called away during the witch hunts.”

“And then they went down under.”

“True enough.” She sealed the envelope and headed for the back door. “I suppose we’ll be off now. I suppose you’re heading back out Cheshire?”

“Yeah. Back to London. Seems those rumors about Voldemort making a deal with a demon may not have been rumors. Hopefully I can find out. Tell Harry I said happy ninth, okay?”

She nodded and headed out to watch as Harry targeted and successfully blasted some captured Decorations Rodin had provided. Then she scowled. “Harry! Loosen your arms! I know I’ve told you holding a gun like that will just make you sore!”

Harry grinned and settled into something more natural looking.

Jeanne snorted. “You do realize he only switched to that when he heard you come out?”

Bayonetta rolled her eyes. “Cheeky little devil.” But she ruffled his hair all the same.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay. This chapter required a lot of research. So, Astarte. She's a goddess of fertility, motherhood, love, and war. By various accounts, she has either been cast down to hell (The bible refers to her as the abomination), always been there, or chose to go there. She has a lot of parallells with Harry in that respect, which is what led me to choose her. A reviewer at ff.net pointed out to me that all the known Umbra contract partners were insect based, but after watching Bloody Fate where Bayonetta's partner is implied to be Gomorroh, I'm left thinking that may be a feature of the Madamas, rather than any particular indicator of the Umbra.
> 
> Speaking of Madamas, Harry's guns are an Homage to Madama Butterfly, Who is herself named for an opera of the same name, as her description alludes to. While Carmen is well known, and Seville is short for the Barber of Seville, Dafne is the first opera ever, performed in Florence, and Partenope is the first opera written by an American born composer.
> 
> Also Madama Butterfly is a closet gossip, and the Goblins are not terribly enamored of Dumbledore. Also for those who have forgotten, Bayonetta 1 mentions that only first timers call the Gates of Hell by its name. Everyone else calls it the dump


	6. Diagon Alley

“Dear Mister Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” He examined the envelope, which had been brought by an exhausted looking owl. Said owl was currently keeled over on the back of the living room sofa, wings akimbo. Harry was fairly certain that if it could, it would have been panting. “I didn’t apply.”

Bayonetta sauntered out of the kitchen, holding a bowl of water. She plucked the owl off the sofa and put it on a table, placing the water in front of it. The owl gave a low hoot and began to drink. Stroking its feathers gently, she pursed her lips. “Apparently you didn’t have to. From what Luka says, your name has been down ever since you were born. According to him, your birth parents were magical themselves, just not like us.”

She cast a glance at the large portrait hanging on one wall. It showed a redheaded woman and a man with very messy black hair. She had gotten it, along with a number of other items, at her visit to Gringotts, which had apparently shipped them from its European branch. The rest of the items had been locked away for safekeeping, though his parents wands hung below the portrait. She hadn’t questioned just how the Goblins had managed to recover those. They were notorious for their infernal talents.

Harry frowned and adjusted his glasses, the wing design across the top shining. “Why would I go to some school in Scotland? That’s where it is isn’t it?”

“According to Luka, yes.” She frowned. “And it’s not like you need to. But it certainly wouldn’t hurt to get another perspective on magic.”

Harry squinted at the letter. “Apparently they await my owl.”

The owl jerked away from the water dish with a loud hoot of horror.

Bayonetta gently rubbed its head. “They’ll have to wait. This poor thing needs a few days to recover. It just flew cross country after all.” The owl slumped in relief, and was more than content to be picked up and placed in a potted tree on the patio.

Jeanne arrived shortly thereafter. It soon transpired that she had been doing some research. She plunked a large book entitled, “Hogwarts, a History”, down on the coffee table. “This place is pretty venerated around Europe. Supposedly it’s actually a decent school, for a place that specializes in _wands_.”

Harry made a face. “Why would I want to use one of those?” He made a fist. “I do just fine with Lady Astarte.”

Jeanne shrugged. “It’s worth thinking about. And you wouldn’t be alone there in any case. I happened to find out that the school is recruiting for teachers. Your mother and I can easily send some of our course programs up there.

While Jeanne taught High-school, Harry’s mother taught a self-defense class most nights. Nothing that could be mistaken for an Umbra’s training, but still quite effective. More than a few people had come back saying that the classes had saved their lives.

“Give it a few days thought sweetie.” Bayonetta said. “The owl needs to recover anyway.”

~***~

It was three days before the owl was apparently able (or willing) to make the transcontinental flight. It let them know by flying in and fetching a pen and paper in its beak and bringing them to Harry.

“I suppose it’s time to make a decision.” Bayonetta said. She watched as Harry frowned.

“I get the feeling that saying no would be more trouble than it’s worth.” He eyed the owl for a moment. “Still, they might be able to tell me about my parents. I kinda want to know more about them.” He brightened. “Besides if I don’t like it, I can always just unleash Inferno on them. They sound pretty weak.”

Bayonetta ruffled his hair. “That a boy.”

~***~

The letter also included a list of school supplies, many of which Bayonetta and Jeanne had scoffed at. “A pewter cauldron, really? Who uses those anymore?”

The list had said that all purchases could be made in Diagon Alley. Harry knew from Luka that the alley could be accessed via the Leaky Cauldron. What Luka hadn’t mentioned was how everyone would crowd around him. Apparently his scar was quite famous.

“Back off!” Bayonetta’s abrupt command was coupled with a magically charged blast fired into the rafters from one of her guns. Several people shrieked, and the crowd rapidly backed away. “Honestly, you wouldn’t know from looking that this was a crowd of adults, rather than children.” She flipped her hand, making the gun vanish. “Out of the way!”

As she was currently sporting one of her more deadly glares from under her white rose laden hat, the effect was immediate. The crowd parted rather as if someone had cut them in two. Bayonetta and Jeanne stepped on either side of Harry and led the way to the back.

~***~

The rear lot looked rather decrepit at first glance. Then Harry spotted a slight golden glint at the top of one wall. “What’s that?”

Bayonetta looked up. “Witch metal.” She jumped and delivered a punch that shattered the brick and revealed a disc of buttery yellow metal. Then she gave the disc a magically charged kick. There was a faint ringing sound, and the disc flashed, before the entire wall curled away, revealing a bustling street and a sign proclaiming “Diagon Alley”.

Jeanne grinned. “Apparently Vigrid isn’t the only place with Umbran influence.”

Nearly all activity stopped as the trio headed down the street. While Harry was in his battlesuit, guns and all,(Though they were invisible for the time being), Bayonetta was in a rather interestingly cut white dress that showed more than it hid. It was this that was attracting the majority of attention, though Jeanne’s dress was drawing its fair share as well.

“Where to first?”

“The bank I should think.” Bayonetta twirled a Halo idly with one finger. “I don’t think the local merchants are going to take payments in Halos. I’m afraid we’ll need to exchange for the local currency. If it’s anything like the American branch I went to, it should be possible.”

~***~

“Then again, that may not be necessary.” She and Jeanne stared as the goblin stepped aside to allow them access into Harry’s vault.

The vault that was absolutely _filled_ with shining coins of all types.

“Well, good to know it’s here.” Bayonetta pulled a sack full of Halos from somewhere, pretending not to notice the way the Goblin’s eyes grew wide. “Still, that’s your money for later down the road. Paying for your supplies is a parental prerogative.”

~***~

A short while later found them laden down with more wizarding money than they could count. Halos it seemed, had quite an exchange rate. As a precaution, Harry magically grew his bangs out to cover his scar.

Most of the trip was fairly straightforward. Bayonetta stored their purchases in some kind of box that seemed to never run out of space. When asked, she said she had borrowed it from Rodin.

~***~

It wasn’t until they were purchasing a wand that anything happened. Harry had been rather against purchasing one, but Jeanne had eventually convinced him, saying that if nothing else, it made for a good bit of subterfuge.

They were in the wand shop, a dusty and slightly dingy place called Ollivander’s. This was in keeping with Ollivander himself, who appeared to be about as weathered as his shop.

The white haired man appeared from out of nowhere around a corner, dusting off his suit. “May I help you?”

“I need a wand.”

Ollivander peered at him. “No, you don’t.” He said in a matter of fact tone, “You use another source young man. That much I can see, even if I don’t know what it is.” He straightened. “But I suppose that won’t matter at Hogwarts, will it Mister Potter?”

Harry shared a look with his mother and aunt.

Ollivander either didn’t notice, or pretended not to. “Seems like only yesterday, your mother and father were in here buying _their_ first wands.” He started ambling among the shelves, inspecting boxes seemingly at random before pulling one.

Removing the wand he held it out to Harry, who took it. “I remember every wand I’ve ever sold, Mister Potter. Your mother’s for example, very good for charms, while your father’s excelled in transfiguration.” He frowned when Harry simply stood there and said, “Well go on, give it a wave!”

Harry did so. An entire wall of wands went flying from the shelves to land in a heap on the ground. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Harry was certain he heard Lady Astarte giggle.

Ollivander’s face was impassive as he took the wand back and selected another for him to try. This one cracked the ceiling, causing plaster to fall.

Things continued in this way for a while, and Harry was beginning to worry that the shop might collapse. Finally Ollivander handed him one that was “Holly and Phoenix feather, thirteen inches.” There was a wave of heat that rushed up his arm, and actually waving the wand made a fountain of sparks.

Ollivander applauded politely. “Curious.”

“And why would that be?”

Ollivander smiled thinly as he boxed up the wand and rang it up on an ancient looking cash register that had somehow survived the carnage. “It just so happens that the phoenix that gave the feather for that wand gave just one other feather. It’s curious he should get this wand, when its brother gave him that scar.”

Stepping over a pile of broken glass, he held out the box. “The wand chooses the wizard, Mister Potter, be it for good or ill. You would do well to remember that.” He shook hands with him. “Good day, and good luck.”

~***~

Their final stop was a place called Gladrags Wizard Wear. Harry had refused point blank to wear a school robe, feeling that it was an insult to his Umbran nature. Neither Bayonetta nor Jeanne protested. Bayonetta _did_ however, want to have a look at the wizarding fashions. Apparently she had noticed a few especially interesting ones during their trip.

Gladrags was mostly empty, save a child with hair that was almost as blonde as Jeanne’s. He was accompanied by a man and woman that were clearly his parents.

Jeanne started browsing amongst the shelves, looking at cloaks. Bayonetta however headed over to look at dresses, passing the man and woman as if they weren’t even there.

Both of them stared after them as if they’d seen something unpleasant. The woman however, also sent a faintly envious look at Bayonetta’s dress.

The boy on the other hand, said somewhat loudly, “Who on earth let muggles in here?”

Both the adults smirked faintly when Jeanne quirked an eyebrow. The expression changed when she clicked her fingers and a dress levitated itself off the hangers. “Try this one Cereza.” She sent the gown flying across the room. Harry hid a smirk. The Hogwarts book had mentioned muggles. The three of them were anything but.

Harry himself was soon swept into a world of cloaks and dress shirts. Bayonetta and Jeanne kept their attendant quite busy. He eventually ended up next to the blonde boy, holding a small pile of capes and shirts.

The boy gave him a rather disdainful look. “You lot try too hard to make it look like you have money. It’s rather disgraceful.”

Harry was sorely tempted to deliver a wicked weave, but refrained. “Who said anything about trying? We _do_ have money.” He frowned and added, “And a good deal more tact.”

The boy colored, making it look as if his cheeks had been rouged badly. Both his parents lips thinned.

Harry ignored them. “Clearly your money didn’t buy manners.”

The boy opened his mouth in outrage, but his mother suddenly spoke, clearly scenting danger. “That’s enough Draco. You _were_ being rather rude.” She was staring at Harry as though she was seeing something very familiar and was unable to place it. Eventually she extended a hand. “I apologize for my son. I am Narcissa Malfoy.”

Harry shook it gently. “Harry. Pleasure to meet you Missus Malfoy.”

Her brow furrowed. “You have an interesting accent.”

“I live in America.”

“Ah. On vacation then are you?”

“Shopping for school actually. I got an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Trip almost killed the owl.”

Her husband spoke for the first time. “You live in America and you got a letter for Hogwarts?”

Harry shrugged. “Apparently my name was down for it ever since I was born. And I was born in Britain.”

Mister Malfoy eyed the counter, where there was sizable pile of Galleons, Knuts, and sickles in front of a rather awestruck clerk. “What precisely does your family deal in?”

Jeanne spoke from behind him. “Antiquities.” The man jumped. “Rarities, mostly of religious aspects.” Harry barely restrained a snort. “Though I’m also a teacher of muggle subjects and advanced magical defense. Cereza over there teaches self-defense classes.” She glanced at Harry. “Bring your clothes to the counter so we can wrap them. I think it’s time we headed out.”

As he headed to the counter, Harry heard the older Malfoy say, “You teach magic do you? I happen to be on the board of governors for Hogwarts.”

Harry ignored the resulting conversation in favor of speaking with his mother. “Ready to head home sweetie?”

Harry nodded. “Is Uncle Enzo flying us back?”

Bayonetta grinned. “Actually it’s Luka bringing us back. He has an early birthday present for you.”

~***~

Harry’s present turned out to be a large snowy white owl. “Figured she’d be just the thing for you kid. I hear all that school uses for messages is owls.”

“Why Cheshire, she’s gorgeous!”

Anything else Bayonetta had to say was cut off as light erupted around them. Heavenly music filled the air and Applauds and Affinities dropped from the sky.

Bayonetta sighed. “And here I thought we could have a nice excursion.” She drew her guns. “Oh well, I could use the exercise anyway. Ready Harry?”

Harry’s response was to fire off a shot that blew the head off an Affinity that had prowled a little too close.

“Good lad! Do take cover Cheshire!”

Luka dived into the plane and slammed the door.

~***~

Jeanne joined the fray shortly thereafter, blasting a Beloved in the jewel on its back. “Sorry I’m late. Had some business to finish up with those Malfoys. How do you feel about being called a professor?”

Bayonetta grabbed the Beloved’s axe as it launched it into a swing, wrenching it from its hands and cleaving it into its flesh, sending blood everywhere. “It almost makes me sound respectable! Can’t have that.”

Harry summoned Lady Astarte behind them. The massive Infernal rose and delivered a hefty punch that summarily flattened the angel, squishing it into a tenth of its former size, and causing it to let out a shrill squeal of death.

Jeanne flicked her hair back. “Well you won’t really have a choice there, I’m afraid. Hogwarts won’t call its instructors anything else.”

Bayonetta smirked and blew a kiss at the angelic seal, shattering it. “We’ll just have to see if we can change that, won’t we?”

The plane door slid open. “Every day is a new adventure with you two, you know that?”

The owl hooted in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A personal headcanon of mine is that the Umbra can communicate telepathically with their contract partners, which gives them an edge in battle.
> 
> Also, Bayonetta finds the notion of a woman (or man, for that matter) being unable to defend themselves absolutely abhorrent, thus she teaches self defense classes for all ages.


	7. Hogwarts

“Platform nine and three quarters? What kinda magic shit is that?”

Harry shrugged. “That’s what the ticket says Uncle Enzo.”

Enzo shrugged and flicked his cigar into the ashtray, dislodging a slew of ash. “Eh whatever. Guess the magic carpets all have holes in them or something.”

“Actually those are supposedly illegal in Europe.” Jeanne had procured a book full of wizarding laws while in Diagon Alley, and had been reading it ever since they got home. She squinted at the page. “Says they’ve been banned since eighteen twenty-two.” She frowned. “Apparently it’s still legal to curse ugly muggles though.”

Enzo shuddered. “If they’re anything like _your_ curses, I don’t think I wanna know.”

Bayonetta scoffed and took a sip of her wine. “We’re special cases and you know it.”

Enzo shrugged. “Yeah fine. _So_ , I’ll fly you witches into London next week then?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Nah. I can go shopping for Clarissa’s birthday present in London. Them angels don’t seem to bother with me unless you lot are involved. I ain’t exactly their type you know.”

“Duly noted.”

~***~

“Well, there’s platform ten, and that’s platform nine.” Bayonetta glanced around. “Platform nine and three quarters doesn’t seem to be here.”

“It’s between them.” All three of them turned to see a plump red haired woman with a small gaggle of children behind her. “You have to run at the barrier between them. She gestured to one of her sons. “Show them Percy.”

The boy in question grasped his trolley and charged the barrier, vanishing into the brick as if it didn’t exist. Bayonetta frowned and stuck a hand into it. The bricks rippled like water. “interesting trick.”

“It reacts to magic. Though muggles can use it if they’ve been around magic enough.” The woman explained. She held out a hand and shook Bayonetta and Jeanne’s. “Molly Weasley.”

“Bayonetta.”

“Jeanne.”

“Pleasure. You must be new to Hogwarts. I don’t know why they never mention the platform in the letters.” She frowned. “I usually stay out here to help the muggleborn first years find the platform. My husband is on the other side.”

“That’s very nice of you.”

Mrs. Weasley glanced down at Harry. “I do try. And who might you be?”

Harry smiled and held out his hand. “Harry Potter ma’am.”

The lone girl in the crowd of children squeaked. Mrs Weasley shot her a look. “Pleasure to meet you dear. I imagine this must be quite strange for you, off to Hogwarts all alone.”

Harry shook his head. “Mom and Aunt Jeanne’ll both be teaching there this year, so it’s not like I’ll be entirely by myself.”

Mrs. Weasley looked up. “You two are new professors?”

Bayonetta grinned. “I teach self-defense classes. I’m told I’m quite good at it. Jeanne there teaches advanced magical defense.”

Jeanne waved. “I teach the wandless variety.” She frowned and noted as the twins near the back suddenly looked gleeful.

Mrs. Weasley saw it too. “Don’t you be getting ideas you two!” She snapped. “Those are my twins, Fred and George. Biggest troublemakers you ever saw.”

Neither twin looked in the least repentant.

~***~

“Well there’s an obnoxious object.” Bayonetta eyed the bright red steam engine as it puffed merrily on the tracks.

“It _is_ a bit of an eyesore, I grant you.” They turned to find Lucius Malfoy and his wife and son standing nearby. He sighed. “However, the Ministry of Magic requires that all students ride it, or not be allowed admission to Hogwarts. Even my considerable clout has not been enough to sway their minds.”

A loud whistle rent the air.

Mrs. Malfoy gestured to her son. “That’s the ten minute warning. Draco, you’d better get on board. Your friends will be looking for you.”

“Yes mother.” He vanished into the train.

Lucius flicked his wand and sent his son’s possessions floating in after him. To Jeanne he said, “You two are all set at the castle. The headmaster will announce you before the start of the welcoming feast.” He glanced at Harry. “Would you like me to enchant your belongings as well?”

Harry shook his head. “No thanks.” He reached down and hefted the trolley, trunk and all, throwing onto one shoulder. “It’s really not all that heavy.” He grinned and carried it onto the train, ignoring the astonished expressions on the Malfoy’s faces.

~***~

The ride was largely uneventful, aside from the sudden appearance of a girl with very bushy brown hair. She was accompanied by a boy with a rather downtrodden expression. After inquiring about a missing toad, she vanished, though she gave Harry a very curious look. Bayonetta and Jeanne’s mere presence was enough to scare away most of the nosier students. Adults were apparently a rarity on the train however, and they still managed to draw a steady stream.

Eventually Bayonetta put a seal on the door and all three of them stepped into Purgatorio. Harry settled down into reading one of Jeanne’s old history books. This was always an interesting affair, as the margins were filled with notes from Jeanne herself, who had actually met most of the people featured.

Her comments spared no one; George Washington was deemed a man with his wig on too tight, and devoid of any real fun. Abraham Lincoln however, was declared a statesman of high caliber. Coming from Jeanne, Harry knew that either statement could have very well meant anything.

~***~

It was some hours later that the train arrived at a small station. There was a thrum of noise as the locomotive began to empty. The conductor, a somewhat portly man dressed in red, and with a great deal of mustache, stopped by their compartment to inform them that a carriage was waiting to bring the two women up to the school. Harry however was to go with the rest of the first years, his things would be brought to the castle for him.

~***~

Stepping out of the train brought another surprise. Rodin.

“Bout time you got here.” He grinned, making the already clear circle around him widen noticeably.

“That’s the trouble with traveling legal.” Bayonetta said. “It’s so damn slow.”

Rodin snorted. “Only to you. Though I grant you a train is pretty backwater.”

“Why are you here Uncle Rodin? I thought you were in Spain.”

Rodin frowned. “Got a very hot news item. You remember your momma telling you how some places are closer to Inferno or Paradiso?” When Harry nodded, he continued. “Turns out Hogwarts is like Fimbulventr, it has connections to both. Stay out of the lake. It’s got a path that’ll take you down home.”

Jeanne blinked. “I take it there’s a path to Paradiso too then?”

Rodin nodded. “Not sure where it is, but that means nothin’ round here.” He fished around in his jacket for a moment and withdrew a large ruby on a chain. “Your momma and aunt have one of these, you should too. It’s a key to the Dump.” He tossed it to Harry. “I think you’ll end up with plenty of Halos round here.”

“Always out for the money, aren’t you Rodin?” There was no actual heat in her voice.

Rodin grinned. “Business before pleasure ladies, you know that.” He waved and lit a cigar with one thumb. “Gotta get back to the Dump. You kids have fun now.” There was a flash and Rodin vanished.

In the ringing silence that followed, a booming voice suddenly thundered out, “First years over here! First years this way!” The voice was coming from a mountain of a man in a large hairy looking coat.

Bayonetta’s eyes narrowed. “That voice sounds very familiar.”

The man was every bit as large as he appeared. He was carrying a lantern and was waving it about. “First years with me! We’ll be going up to the castle as soon as we got everyone!” He leaned down and picked something up. “Oy! Who’s toad is this!”

“Trevor!”

“Keep a better eye on your pets lad.”

Jeanne sniffed. “He seems harmless. And I doubt he’d be expecting people of our power anyway.” She flipped her hair back. “Besides, we have a ride waiting, and we need to change into something more appropriate.”

~***~

The giant man turned out be named Hagrid. He led them to a number of boats at the edge of a lake. “No more an’ four to a boat!” He pointed at Harry. “You’re with me.”

Remembering Rodin’s warning, Harry cocked his guns. It turned out to be mostly unnecessary as the only hint he saw of an Inferno was some of its vegetation. Given that Inferno’s plant life was often times sentient, this might have spelled trouble, but if any of it was alive, it appeared to be asleep. Harry made sure not to touch it anyway.

~***~

They were met at the castle by a very stern looking woman dressed in mostly green robes. Her gaze swept the mass of students, eyes narrowing when she spotted Harry.

Hagrid however, spoke before she could. “The first years, Fesser McGonagall.”

“Thank you Hagrid.” Her voice was crisp and no-nonsense. “I’ll take it from here.” She led them inside. What followed was a short lecture. “In a few moments, you will be sorted into your houses. There are four houses here in Hogwarts. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. While you are here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you points. Any rule breaking-“ Here her gaze shot to Harry, “will lose you points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup.” She turned and threw the door open. “Follow me.”

She led them into a large room filled with people. Up at the front of the room, a witch with fly-away hair was putting a very worn out looking hat on a thee legged stool. The hat sat there for a moment, then a rip at the brim opened like a mouth, and it started to sing.

_“Light and Dark have returned to us, bringing back days of old. In the darkness there is a story to be told. Fear not the night, for in it is light. The eyes of the world are in all today, one great cosmic play. Paradise and fire play their part, one great celestial art! Look to the moon and its people for the facts, they’ll tell you that none of it are acts. The truth is hard, and life deals many a card. So take **your** card and put me on your head, I’ll tell you where you need to go, for I see all the highs and lows! For I’m no ordinary hat, I’m a thinking cap!”_

The hat fell silent to a round of applause, though it was mixed with some confused whispering. Professor McGonagall gave the room the sort of look that could curdle milk, which quickly cut off the noise. “When I call your name, you will come up and place the hat upon your head and be sorted into your houses.”

Harry stopped paying attention after this, focusing instead on the hall in general. The ceiling caught his attention first, as it seemed to be showing whatever was outside, though if he looked closely he could still see the rafters. The wall behind the professors at the front of the room was much more interesting however. There were several portraits, and to Harry’s great surprise, the largest was a faithful rendering of Queen Sheba.

The queen of Inferno looked out over the entire hall from a truly massive portrait. As Harry stared at it, he could have sworn it winked at him. Remembering that Sheba had once helped his mother, Harry wouldn’t have been surprised if she _was_ watching now.

He was jerked back to reality as Mcgonagall called out, “Granger, Hermione!”

The bushy haired girl he had run into earlier walked up to the stool looking highly nervous. There was a full minute of silence, then the rip in the hat opened wide. “Gryffindor!” The girl headed to a table decked out in red and gold, amidst cheers and clapping.

Shortly thereafter was “Longbottom, Neville.” He too ended up at Gryffindor, though the hat took a very long time deciding, and Neville accidentally went to the table wearing it and had to jog back amid gales of laughter.

The next was “Malfoy, Draco.” The hat took almost no time whatsoever. It had barely touched his head before it shouted out Slytherin.

Finally after “Patil, Padma, and Patil Parvati!”, it was “Potter, Harry!”

McGonagall blanched slightly as Harry strode forward. All around him the hall erupted into whispers. “Potter did she say?” “ _The_ Harry Potter?” “Why isn’t he wearing robes?” Harry ignored them, making for the hat.

Closer to the stool, he could see a crescent shaped splash of metal set into the floor. As he reached it, it glowed brightly, throwing his shadow up against a wall. Harry sighed and sat on the stool, and resolutely ignoring the growing whispers, put the hat on his head.

_“Hah! An Umbra back in our halls at last!”_ The hat sounded worryingly enthusiastic. _“Five hundred and some odd years has been far too long!”_

Harry frowned. “You seem unbelievably thrilled.”

The hat gave him what felt like the mental equivalent of a shrug. _“Unlike the others in this castle, I remember its glory days, when the founders and the Umbra worked side by side. It was they who gave me the ability to sort you lot into your houses after all.”_ It seemed to pause for a moment. _“Speaking of which…”_ It trailed off and began muttering to itself.

“The Umbra made you?”

The hat broke off mid-mutter. _“Oh heavens no. I was made by Twilina’s hat shop and purchased by one Godric Gryffindor. Towards the end of his life, the Umbra put some power into me so that I could sort for the founders after their deaths. Speaking of sorting, I think you’d do well in…Slytherin!”_

This last word was shouted out to the hall at large. There was a smattering of applause, though it was much subdued. Harry however could see Bayonetta and Jeanne both applauding from a small alcove. They would have been clearly visible had they not both been in Purgatorio.

A spate of whispers started and Professor McGonagall jerked her hand back from the hat. Harry turned and beheld a giant flower growing out of the metal crescent. It would have looked like a sunflower, had its petals not been a bright blue, and a skull been where the center normally would have been. The skull yattered at him and whipped about to eye the hall. Seeing the fascinated, and slightly longing, look on one of the professor’s faces, Harry leaned down and yanked at the flower, the roots sliding free of the metal with ease. He gave the skull a sharp tap on the forehead, making it freeze, and sauntered up to the head table.

He held it out to the professor, who accepted and twirled her wand, creating a pot. She stuck the flower in and made a wave of dirt fill around it. “Thank you, Mister Potter. These are harmless, but I’ve never been able to see one up close.”

He nodded and gave the skull another tap, causing it to start moving again. Then he reached up to take the hat off his head. As he removed it, the hat spoke one last time. _“All four houses have Umbra quarters. You should have no trouble locating them.”_

Harry grinned and set it on the stool. “Thanks for the tip.” The end of the hat nodded to him. Harry strode towards the Slytherin table and sat down next to Malfoy, who looked a cross between disturbed and impressed.

~***~

The rest of the sorting was fairly subdued. After the last person had been sorted, the hat was swept away, and the headmaster, an ancient looking man with a very long beard, rose. “Well another year has begun, and to our new students I bid you welcome, and our returning students, welcome back! Before we begin our welcoming feast, I must make a few start of term announcements. First, I must mention to all students that the Forbidden forest is dangerous and students are not permitted entry. Also the third floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to all those who do not wish to meet a most painful death.”

Harry laughed, but he was one of the few that did.

The headmaster continued unperturbed. “I would also like to announce the arrival of some new classes.” He gestured to his left, where two empty chairs sat. “As you can see, we have two new additions to our staff this year. First we have Advanced Magical Defense, taught by Professor D’arc!”

Jeanne threw the doors open and strode in. Harry grinned. She was wearing an outfit that she herself said she had not worn since the days of the witch hunts. She had apparently modified it into a kind of dress. She swept up and at a gesture from Dumbledore, stopped at his side. Professor D’arc specializes in wandless magic. Her classes will be available for fifth years and up.”

Jeanne sat down and flashed Harry a smile.

The Headmaster cleared his throat. “Also new to us this year is Magical Self Defense, a class which will be available for all years. It will be taught by Professor Bayonetta!”

The doors flew open again, and Bayonetta strode in. Most of the hall went silent. Harry didn’t blame them. His mother was wearing her battle uniform, though she had modified it so that there were no openings in the legs, and the partition in the back was much smaller. Harry himself had patterned his own battle uniform off of his mother’s old one, though his had a great deal less accessories.

The silence was broken by two loud wolf whistles. Bayonetta stopped dead. Then she turned and stomped her foot. There were two shouts of surprise, and a blast of magical detonation. She held out her arms and caught the two boys as they came spiraling down. Hoisting them by the back of their robes, she said, “Self-defense lesson number one. Always respect a lady. You never know what she might be capable of.” She held them closer. “Is that understood?” Both boys nodded furiously. “Good!” She dropped them. “Back to your seats.” Both boys scurried off looking chastened.

Harry joined in the laughter filling the hall, watching as his mother back flipped over the table and sat down next to Jeanne, ignoring the looks from the other Professors.

The headmaster seemed less perturbed. “You will of course remember to give them the respect they are due as professors. And with that I must give a few last words. And here they are. Nitwit, oddment, blubber, tweak!”

Harry started laughing as the plates filled up with food.

One of the students next to him let out a low whistle. “Damn. I want a class with her. She’s tough as nails!”

Another student shrugged. “Yeah, but wandless magic? That could _really_ be handy.”

Harry grinned and looked up at the head table. He spotted one of the teachers, a rather sallow man with a large nose eyeing him with a mixture of revulsion, fury, and confusion. Harry rolled his eyes and put the man out of his mind.

“I still say the self-defense class sounds best.” Harry glanced over at the student next to him. “She’s unbelievable!”

“She’s my mom.” Harry said, grinning as the student gagged on his pumpkin juice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO Hogwarts at last! And several things I need to clarify. I keep forgetting to actually describe Harry's uniform, which is patterned after Bayonetta's uniform from Bayonetta one, minus most of the accessories. The opening in the back remains, since that seems to be there mainly for the purpose of the witches summoning their Madama's wings. Also his hair (depending on his whim) is anywhere from shoulder to waist length, though he rarely wears it that long. it's typically about halfway down his back, and unless specifically mentioned otherwise, this what he has it for everyday. though he never wears it short, finding it to be unmanageable.
> 
> Information about the Hogwarts express can be found on Pottermore, and the ministry does indeed require students to ride it.
> 
> For those wondering about Harry's house placement, I couldn't see him in Gryffindor, as they'd be too loud and annoying to him, and Ravenclaw requires the answer to a riddle to get in, which I can't see him always getting right. Hufflepuff might have worked, but loyalty isn't precisely one of Harry's strong suits here, particularly to the wizarding world in general. His family is another story, of course.
> 
> Scuttlebut with Jeanne is that she may actually be Joan of Arc, hence her name.
> 
> So that's that! Sorry for the wait and enjoy the chapter! Also look out for a surprise next chapter!


	8. In the snake den

“So _you’re_ the famous Harry Potter eh?”

 

Harry eyed the older student that was staring at him expectantly. “I suppose I am. I’ve never gone by any other name after all.” This wasn’t strictly true, but the other students wouldn’t know that. Jeanne had cooked up more than one identity for Harry over the years, though most were benign.

 

“So what in the name of Merlin are you doing in _our_ house?” The student demanded.

 

Harry shrugged. “It’s what that hat wanted. He eyed the wall behind the student. “Though I gotta say, if a magic wall is the extent of this house, then I’m definitely not impressed.”

 

The other boy flinched. “How did you-“

 

Harry cut him off. “It’s rattling, which if I remember the history book right, means it wants the password in the next minute or it’ll drop you down a trapdoor.”

 

The older boy whipped around and snapped out, “Fair fortunes!” The wall let out a grinding noise and slid open revealing a set of stairs leading down.

 

When he crossed his arms and did nothing else, Harry sighed and turned to the rest of the crowd of first years. “This, obviously, is the entrance to the Slytherin common room. It’ll only open with the password, which, of course, you shouldn’t give out to the other houses.”

 

Before he could say anything else, a low voice seemed to emanate from the common room. “Enston. Stop making a scene and let them in. _Now_.”

 

The boy flinched. “Yes sir. Everybody in!”

 

Harry smirked and decided to have a little fun. He drew a sigil and stepped in Purgatorio. Then he meandered down after the others.

~***~

 

The common room was green, almost to a fault. This was mostly due to the windows, which were apparently set under the lake, thus casting a strange green tint over everything. Aside from this, and the great fire roaring in the oversized grate, the room looked a bit like something out of an outdated home decoration magazine. Several overstuffed chairs were scattered about the room, and large sofas dominated all four walls. There was also however, a disturbing amount of snake symbols spread throughout.

 

Harry turned away from a particularly large example set over the fireplace as someone at the front of the room started speaking. “Welcome to Slytherin house. As many of you are aware, our house has a very…sour reputation.” The figure turned, apparently surveying the crowd. “I am your head of house, Professor Snape.”

 

Seen from Purgatorio, Professor Snape didn’t exactly cut an impressive figure, given that he was mostly translucent. He was tall, and his outfit reminded Harry of nothing so much as a bat at rest. Given his menacing tones, Harry was betting the effect was intentional.

 

“While you are here, you will abide by the house rules. You will have a curfew in effect, and I _will_ know if you do not follow it. There are to be no duels, and no magical fights in the common room, for your own safety. As you can see, our common room is under the lake, and damaging the windows could have disastrous consequences.” Snape did another one of those turns, and Harry abruptly realized that he was looking for him but trying not to make it very obvious.

 

Harry grinned and leaned against a wall. Snape could search all night and not find him. He was more interested in finding the Umbra quarters anyway.

 

This proved to be somewhat less than difficult. There was a large portrait of an infernal hanging on the wall behind Snape, directly between the hallways that led to the dormitories. There was even a large crescent moon set into the wall above it. Upon closer inspection, Harry realized the Infernal was Madama Khepri, who had been the partner of his mother’s mother. Harry had never met the Infernal before, though he had seen some pictures in the Legetmeton.

 

Harry was jerked back to the present when Snape suddenly said briskly, “That will do for tonight. Before you adjourn however, we seem to be missing a student.” One of the students, Enston, Harry remembered, flinched and started looking around.

 

Harry sighed and taking pity on him, drew a sigil and stepped out of Purgatorio. Many people jumped, as Harry seemed to have appeared out of thin air. “You were saying?”

 

Outside of Purgatorio, Professor Snape turned out to be the professor that had been eyeing him at dinner. He was doing so again, but this time it was more like someone looking at a bug on the bottom of their shoe. “Potter.” He practically spat the name. “Why are you not wearing your robes?”

 

Harry shrugged and walked towards the portrait of Khepri, Snape swiveling to watch him. “I refuse to wear them. They’re an insult to the Umbra.”

 

Khepri crossed her arms and nodded, making several people start whispering. Apparently her painting had never moved before.

 

Snape’s expression did not change. “And what precisely do these Umbra have to do with you?”

 

Harry snorted. “Ask Madama Khepri. Better yet, ask my mother and my aunt.”

 

One of the first years piped up suddenly. “Your mum is the scary one in the black suit isn’t she? That’s what you said at dinner.”

Harry grinned. “Yes that’s her. Though she’s really not all that scary.”

 

Someone in the back coughed. “Says you.”

 

Harry’s grin widened. “True. But then I know her. I have more to fear from Muncher than her.”

 

“Muncher?” another student asked.

 

“My pet. He’s a Chain Chomp.”

 

There was a low grinding sound as the common room wall slid open. What followed was a distinctive jangling noise coupled with a rhythmic thudding that even had Snape looking confused.

 

Harry smirked. “Speaking of which.” There were several gasps and more than a few whispers as the Chain Chomp bounced into view, the crowd parting for it. Harry leaned down and rubbed the top of its head, still smiling. “Hey boy. How’d you get down here on your own?”

 

The chomp gave one of its strange low barks.

 

Harry frowned. You sound hungry. Haven’t you been fed yet today?” When the chomp growled, Harry laughed and punched several bricks out of the wall. “Here, you need more minerals anyway. The chomp barked and bit down on the bricks with a grinding crunch.

 

As it chewed noisily Harry gave it a gentle pat. “ _This_ is Muncher. He’ll eat anything, and that’s _not_ an exaggeration. He’s also not all that fond of strangers, so if you want to pet him or something don’t try it without me, my mom, or my aunt there.”

 

Snape scowled. “If the creature is that dangerous, it cannot remain in the confines of the school. Students must not be put in danger.”

 

Harry fixed him with a scowl. “Yes, because everyone’s cats and owls tolerate anyone near them and never get territorial.” Snape’s expression went blank, and several people snickered. “Leave him be, and he’s not much of a threat.” Harry paused. “Well, so long as you watch your toes. He likes to nibble. Any questions?”

 

“Yeah. How’d you punch a brick wall?”

 

Harry shrugged. “Oh I’m just stronger than I look.”

 

At this Snape seemed to come back to himself. Aiming his wand at he wall he muttered a spell that restored the bricks. Then he turned to face Harry. “Rest assured, we _will_ be having a discussion later.” He promised. “Do not damage the common room again. It is not an area for rough-housing. You are a wizard-“

 _“Witch.”_ Unlike any of the other infernal’s he’d met, Khepri’s voice had a distinct buzz to it, one strong enough to cut through Snape’s lecturing tone.

 

Harry grinned. “She’s right. We don’t use that term. Male Umbra are still witches.” With a shudder, he said, “I’d make a terrible Lumen Sage.”

 

 _“I should hope not.”_ Madama Khepri scowled, which only enhanced her resemblance to a beetle. _“Do not even joke, son of Cereza. Their grasp is not for you.”_

_“Wouldn’t dream of it.”_ Harry assured her.

 

“What in the name of Merlin are you speaking?”

 

Growing annoyed, Harry let out a growl and whirled to face Snape. “Enough questions. I already told you, you want to know more about the Umbra, ask my mother.”

 

“Now see here-”

 

“Silence interloper!” Madama Khepri seemed to have become fed up herself, as she said it in English. “His secrets are not for you to learn!” the buzz of her voice manifested much more strongly in English. Switching back to Enochian she said to Harry, _“This one likes to stick his large nose where it doesn’t belong.”_

_“I had guessed as much.”_ Harry grinned. _“Do you guard the Umbra quarters then?”_

Madama Khepri smiled back, showing her teeth. _“I do. One of the castle servants brought your possessions in earlier. Apparently the area needed dusting.”_ There was a loud click and her portrait swung inward. In English she said, “Do come in my dear, and mind the steps. It’s a long drop.”

 

Harry leaned through the portrait hole. “No kidding.” He turned around. “Muncher! Here boy!”

 

The chomp, which had been bouncing around the chairs nearest the fire, barked and made it’s way over to him. Harry grinned and picked it up. “Wouldn’t want you to fall.” Over his shoulder he said, “Night all.” He jumped and landed several feet down the spiraling staircase, Khepri’s portrait snapping shut behind him.

 

There was what sounded like a muffled argument before something resembling a snarl sounded, followed by the noise of someone, most likely Snape, stomping away.

 

~***~

Aside from the fact that they bore obvious signs of long disuse, the Umbra quarters were quite nice. There was a roaring fire going in the main area, which looked like a more tasteful version of the common room, done mostly in black. There were also a series of rooms through a hallway, each of which had a luxurious looking four poster bed. The room closest to the main room had his trunk in it. There was also note on the bedside table denoting breakfast times.

 

Harry grinned and flopped down on the bed. “I think I might like it here after all.” From its place on the floor, the chomp barked and went to sleep.

 

~***~

 _What a waste of time._ Bayonetta inspected her nails while she waited for the last of the professors to return to the great hall. The Headmaster had requested a staff meeting before bed. She suspected it was mostly so she and Jeanne could introduce themselves.

 

There was a slam, and a sallow looking man with a large nose blitzed into the room, looking like some kind of oversized bat.

 

“Ah, Severus, thank you for joining us.” The headmaster sat up in his seat at the end of the table. “I trust your students are settled in well?”

 

“Potter is going to be an issue, but otherwise yes.”

 

“Yes I noticed he wasn’t wearing any robes.” This came from a witch with a bun, dressed in tartan.

 

“He claims they’re an insult to the Umbra. He also claims to be one.”

 

The headmaster shook his head. “Impossible. The Umbra witch clan died out over five hundred years ago. There hasn’t been an Umbra witch here at Hogwarts in nearly the same amount of time.”

 

Bayonetta smirked internally. _Shows what you know._

 

“Besides,” He continued, “There’s no way his aunt would ever have exposed him to their ways.”

 

Here Severus locked eyes with Bayonetta. “He also claims that _you_ are his mother.”

 

Bayonetta smirked. “That’s correct. For almost ten years now.” She sat up straight. “I adopted him quite some time ago.” She fixed her gaze on the headmaster. “I don’t pretend to know everything, but I _certainly_ know _you_ , Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Granted, the last time I saw you was just after halloween nearly ten years ago.”

 

Dumbledore frowned. “We have never met.”

 

Bayonetta stood and flicked her hand, drawing one of her guns. She used it to adjust her glasses before pointing it at the door. A quick squeeze of the trigger had a heart shape crunched into the wood. In the ringing silence that followed, she said, “I was _there_. I certainly didn’t bother to speak with you, but I was there. Let me give you a little refresher.” She turned to face him. “Dear Mrs. Dursley, this is your nephew, Harry James Potter, born the thirty first of last July. I regret to inform you of the passing of your sister Lily and her husband, James.”

 

Dumbledore looked slightly ashen. “You were there the night he was given to them.”

 

Bayonetta whirled. “Forced on them, you mean. You certainly didn’t wait around to see if she actually wanted him. Which she didn’t. She was more than happy to give him up.”

 

“He was her only nephew! Had it been her son, Lily would have been delighted to raise-”

 

Bayonetta held up a hand. “I don’t pretend to know either of them, but shared blood does not always equal familial love. She felt he was better suited with me.” She paused. “In fact her exact words were, “He’s probably better of with you anyway. You and the rest of those freaks.” She waved the gun at Dumbledore, grinning as most of the professors drew wands. “She certainly wasn’t enamored of you lot.”

 

The headmaster had gone a strange shade of white that put her in mind of badly mixed ice cream.

 

From her seat, Jeanne suddenly spoke. “Stop hiding in the shadows Luka, and just come inside.”

 

There was a grunt, and Luka slid out from behind the open window. Somewhat grumpily, he said, “How’d you even know I was there?”

 

A jet of red light launched at him. Bayonetta scowled and threw out a hand. There was a thrum of noise, and Madama Butterfly’s hand suddenly appeared in front of him, catching the jet of magic and tossing it up and down like a ball. Then it hurled the spell out the window. There was a distant explosion, and a yowl from several cats.

 

“Don’t do that again.” Bayonetta snapped. “And your hat jingles Cheshire.”

 

Luka adjusted the hat and grinned. “You like the hat.”

 

“It does suit you.” Jeanne said. “What are you doing here though?”

 

Luka grinned. “I was in the country already. Figured I’d drop by to say hello, and drop off a little present I picked up for Harry.” He handed a box to Bayonetta, then fist bumped Madama Butterfly’s hand. “Thanks for the save, Madama.” The hand gave him a thumbs up. “So this is Hogwarts. I gotta say, I’m not impressed. It’s got nothing on Vigrid.”

 

Bayonetta scoffed. “Vigrid was built up on religious sycophants and good deal of lies and slander. This place simply seems to be built to location specifics.”

 

“Fair enough.” He jerked a thumb at the headmaster. “This the guy?”

 

Jeanne frowned. “If by that, you mean the one responsible for Harry’s original placement, then yes.”

 

Luka huffed. “Not impressed by that either. He glanced around, settling on the witch in tartan, who still had her wand out. “You must be the Deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall.” When she blinked, he grinned. “You should put that away.” He indicated her wand. “Bayonetta could thrash you nine ways to next Sunday.”

 

When McGonagall looked mildly affronted, he shook his head. “She’s an Umbra witch, and so is Jeanne. You’ve got nothing on them.”

 

McGonagall kept her wand focused on him. “Who _are_ you?”

 

“Luka, journalist extraordinaire.” He executed a slightly mocking bow. Then he turned to Bayonetta, summarily ignoring her. “Are you sure about this?”

 

Bayonetta scowled and sat back down in her chair. “Not entirely. This place reeks of Paradiso _and_ Inferno. Rodin says the lake leads downstairs. He didn’t know where the upstairs is.”

 

Luka crossed his arms. “My guess is the forest. According to local legend, it’s been forbidden to enter even before the castle was built. And it’s apparently one of the only areas that haven’t had much in the way of development around here. Sounds like prime real estate for them.”

 

“Ancient and unspoiled, that would do the trick.”

 

“Now what’s this about the Dursley’s? I haven’t heard that name since I had Petunia Dursley sign the guardianship transferral papers ten years ago.”

 

Bayonetta snorted softly. “I was just informing the dear Headmaster here about his inaccurate information about Harry.” She frowned. “Though I _did_ hear a Dudley Dursley get called during the sorting ceremony. He ended up in Slytherin, I think.”

 

“Bet _that_ letter went over well at home.”

 

Bayonetta sniffed. “Like a wingless rock, most likely.”

 

Finally, one of the other professors midway down the table broke in. “You can’t seriously be Umbra Witches. They died out centuries ago.”

 

Bayonetta huffed and hopped back on the table. “ _PDEE BURMA!”_ there was a thrum, and a whirlwind of hair erupted from her, making her vanish from view. The room shook as a massive portal opened, and Madama Butterfly towered into being.

Jeanne sniffed somewhat haughtily. “Care to say that again? Or do you need to see Madama Styx as well?”

 

A professor in a turban halfway down the table fainted dead away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PDEE BURMA is apparently the actual summon for Madama Butterfly. (I thought it was E VARMA) and it seems to mean first elder.
> 
> We'll see a much more in depth conversation between Bayonetta, Jeanne, and Dumbledore next chapter, as well as Slytherin's reaction to Umbra things in general, and get into classes. (Plus you'll see what Luka got Harry ;)


	9. Defense

The headmaster’s office was filled with the largest assortment of gizmos and gadgets Bayonetta had ever seen in one place, the Dump notwithstanding. Most of them were puffing and spinning merrily, creating a background noise that, while somewhat loud, was not terribly distracting.

 

The man sitting behind the desk however, was anything but merry. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, was giving her a very grave look.

 

As she had gotten more frightening examples from angels, Bayonetta was entirely unfazed. “Get a grip.” She smirked and pulled out a sucker, popping it into her mouth. Several of the portraits overhead gasped. “The same goes for you lot.” She waved the candy around. “One would think you’d never heard someone speak their mind before.”

 

From her spot next to the headmaster, Professor McGonagall cleared her throat.

 

Bayonetta’s gaze shot to her. “I’m honestly not sure why _you’re_ so upset.” She smirked. “If I remember correctly, you were the one who protested him going there in the first place.” She waved the sucker around. “They’re the worst sort of muggles imaginable, I believe you said.”

 

The deputy Headmistress flinched. “That is beside the point.” She said crisply. “The fact remains that you did in fact kidnap a child from his relatives.”

 

Bayonetta sighed. “Kidnapping involves removing someone against their will, or the will of those they are with. I can assure you, Petunia Dursley had no qualms whatsoever about handing him over.” She smirked. “It _was_ against _your_ wills I suppose, so there’s that.”

 

Dumbledore scowled. “There were special enchantments placed that night. Enchantments designed to protect both Harry and the Dursley’s.”

 

Bayonetta frowned. “I never felt any magic other than mine there.”

 

Dumbledore, who had opened his mouth to continue, froze mid word. “I- what?”

 

Bayonetta eyed him. “If there were in fact enchantments on that house, I never felt them, which clearly means they didn’t work.” She tapped her lip in thought. “Just as well I killed that man. Clearly those people would have been easy pickings.”

 

“What man?”

 

Bayonetta glanced at McGonagall. “Well I didn’t know him personally. Long black robes, and some ridiculous white mask. Spouted something about the Dark Lord, which I’m guessing must be the Volde-whatsis you lot are so afraid of, wanting the Potter spawn dead.”

 

Silence reigned in the office for a long moment. Finally, Professor Snape, who had been leaning up against the fireplace, spoke. “That man was what was known as a Death Eater. They are supporters of the Dark Lord.”

 

Bayonetta sniffed. “Not very effective ones then. He certainly didn’t manage to put up much of a fight.”

 

Luka rolled his eyes. “Do you ever think that saying stuff like that might actually _hurt_ your case?”

 

Bayonetta shrugged. “I speak nothing but the truth, Cheshire.”

 

He sighed. Then he glanced at the others. “The paper gave his name as Jonathan Edgecombe. Ring any bells?”

 

Snape inhaled. “Suspected of Death Eater activities, but never proven. Business partner of Lucius Malfoy.”

 

Bayonetta sniffed. “ _That_ man seems to be abreast of most going ons.”

 

“He does try to be.” The Headmaster sounded almost genial. “I suspect it’s his way of getting out of the house, truthfully.”

 

His deputy snorted. “And the fact that your views clash entirely have nothing to do with it.” She said.

 

The Headmaster actually grinned. “There is that I suppose.” He sobered and leveled another stern look at Bayonetta. “What did you mean, when you said you felt no magic there?”

 

Bayonetta rolled her eyes. “Exactly what I said. I felt no magic in that home besides my own.” She examined her fingernails. “If you cast any such spells, they didn’t take.”

 

Dumbledore exchanged a glance with his deputy. “They would have formed the instant Petunia picked up her nephew. Blood wards are formed of the love that-”

 

Jeanne, who had remained silent until now, cut him off. “The only love Mrs Dursley felt was the love of seeing him go. I was there with Luka when the guardianship transferral papers were signed.” She rose from her seat and stood next to Bayonetta, arms crossed. “She said that she had no idea what you were thinking bringing him to her. One child was enough.”

 

The headmaster stared at her for a long moment. Then he seemed to deflate, letting out sigh. “I see.” He looked very old suddenly. “I had always harbored the hope that Petunia could have overcome the jealousy she held for her sister’s magic. Clearly a vain hope as it turns out.”

 

Snape scowled. “I could have easily told you that Headmaster. Petunia’s personality soured the day she discovered her sister had magic and she didn’t.” He tilted his head. “I think perhaps she viewed it as the greatest injustice the world had to offer.”

 

“Her son is here you know.” Bayonetta said. She sniffed. “I suppose that counts for something.”

 

Snape actually looked surprised. “Perhaps.” He allowed. “But what exactly remains to be seen.”

 

The headmaster smiled slightly as he pulled a pamphlet out of a stack of parchment on his desk. “All in good time Severus.” He glanced at Bayonetta. “Now then, about your classes. I cannot in good conscience allow you to teach children to contract with Demons.”

 

Bayonetta scoffed. “I teach self defense lessons only. I don’t train them in Umbran arts. And they’re _Infernals_ not demons.”

 

“You have clearly taught Potter you _arts_.” Snape said waspishly.

 

Bayonetta’s eyes narrowed. “ _Harry_ is my _son_.” The note of warning rang clear enough that even McGonagall flinched. “Teaching him his heritage is my right.”

 

Snape opened his mouth to respond, but the Headmaster, clearly scenting danger, intervened. “Enough, Severus. Whatever else she has done, she has clearly taken steps to protect Harry and did so from the outset. I am not so proud a man that I cannot admit my failures.”

 

“She has condemned the boy to _Hell_! His soul will be forfeit to those monstrosities the moment of his death!”

 

Very quietly, Bayonetta said, “He was never bound for the heavens.” She drew Prelude from its holster and before anyone could react, fired it at the door of the study.

 

Viewing the resulting damage she tapped the barrel of the gun. “Now what is that?”

 

Snape grunted. “Pointless damage to school property.”

 

McGonagall however, frowned. “A lightning bolt.”

 

“Precisely.” She holstered her gun. “And while this one is made of wood and bullets, what’s Harry’s made of?”

 

McGonagall went white. “A curse scar.” She sounded faint.

 

“Correct. One that harbored something truly evil and vicious. It has been removed, but as far as the residents of Paradiso are concerned, he was corrupted as soon as he got it.” She frowned. “They even said as much. What I did was give him something better than an eternity in the facelessness of Purgatorio!”

 

Very quietly, Albus Dumbledore inclined his head. “You have made your point.” His expression tightened. “I only ask that you explain this properly later.” He spread his arms. “Perhaps after a proper night’s sleep?”

 

Bayonetta and Jean both nodded. Snape looked mutinous.

 

~***~

 

Harry snapped awake very promptly the next morning. The cause of this was some kind of alarm clock that was floating over the nightstand. The moment he passed his hand through it, the apparition vanished.

 

He groaned and slipped out of bed to find a rather large box sitting on the nightstand itself. Attached was a note from Luka.

 

_“Found this in a little shop in the village down the way. They only wanted a Knut for it too. I’m guessing they had no idea what it was or they would have wanted a lot more. They claimed it was unplayable, but you and I both know Rodin can prove otherwise. Good as you are with Night at the Opera, you’ll need more. Hope this helps.”_

 

Harry opened the box and grinned. “An Angelic Hymns Gold LP!” He pulled the shining golden record out of the box. It was clearly old, and somewhat dusty. While the original name had been destroyed through either age or neglect, the Enochian translation was still visible.

 

“Otemoyan?” Harry shrugged. “Eh whatever. We’ll have to take it to Rodin later.” He slipped out of his Pajamas, and with a thought, transitioned into his uniform.

 

The jet black battle uniform took shape, crescent moon shaped openings appearing at the wrists, and the sun shaped opening in the back forming last. He shook his hair back over his shoulder, tying it back with a sun shaped bangle. The last effect to be added was a razor sharp crescent moon bangle at the end of his ponytail that was highly effective at slicing into angels.

 

Harry grinned as he examined himself in the mirror. While his mother and Jeanne both favored traditional Umbran styles, Harry had seen a picture of his grandfather, Balder, which had apparently been taken by a jet security camera. The Lumen robes had been interesting enough that Harry had incorporated some of them into his own uniform, something that had clearly pleased his mother.

 

A quick tap had Muncher awake, and together the two of them headed out of the bedroom and back up the stairs to Madama Khepri’s portrait.

 

The sound of Khepri’s portrait snapping open attracted the attention of everyone in the common room. To Harry’s slight displeasure, this also included Professor Snape, who was rapidly becoming Harry’s least favorite person.

 

“Ah good, our lollygagger is up and about.” Harry rolled his eyes. “I will escort you all up to the great hall. The headmaster has decreed that all first years will be having self defense lessons directly after breakfast from Professor Bayonetta.” Harry frowned as Snape more or less spat the word.

 

_“Wonder what that’s all about?”_

He wasn’t given much time to dwell on it however, as Snape abruptly whirled and stalked out of the common room.

 

“What bit him? It’s not like you were more than a few seconds after the rest of us.” Harry turned and found another first year standing nearby. The boy grinned and held out a hand. “Theodore Nott.”

 

Harry grinned back and shook it. “I’d introduce myself, but after last night, I think it’d be pointless.”

 

Nott laughed. “I think you set a speed record for pissing him off. Good to know you’re not some wilting flower, Potter.”

 

Harry shuddered as they headed out of the common room. “With _my_ mom? Not a chance.”

 

~***~

 

A quick breakfast and the lot of them were out on the front lawn.

 

Harry’s mother was standing in front of the castle, arms crossed behind her back. Behind her was a pile of white creatures that Harry recognized to be angel mannequins from Rodin’s shooting range.

 

Bayonetta sniffed. “Well, good to see some of you are punctual.” She strode forward. “It seems we need to wait for the rest of your yearmates. This first class will have all houses, and subsequent ones will alternate pairs.” She flipped a hand. “Amuse yourselves until we’re ready.”

 

Harry grinned and ran up to her. “Morning! Look what Uncle Luka got me!”

  
Bayonetta took the record and smirked. “An LP! Where did he get this?”

 

“His note said he got it down in the village. He knew what it was as soon as he saw it. Said I needed more than Night at the Opera.”

 

“I can agree to that.” She smirked. “We have time, go ahead and visit Rodin. I’m sure he can whip something into shape with that.”

 

Harry grinned and pulled out the crystal Rodin had given him. “Be back soon!” He concentrated and felt a portal open up beneath him.

 

~***~

 

“Well now, what have we here?” Rodin, who had been mixing something, stared down at him.

 

Harry smirked and held up the LP. “Just a little present I got from Uncle Luka. Think you can do something with it?”

 

Rodin smirked back. “I know I can witch kid. Why don’t you have a seat, while I knock some things into shape.” Rodin took the LP and placed it on an ancient Victrola, which immediately crackled and started playing a somewhat scratchy oriental tune.

 

Rodin nodded decisively. “That’ll draw some hotheads out.” He grabbed something from the weapons racks behind him. “Be back in a flash. Why don’t you keep my lady friend here company?” He rose into the air and vanished.

 

Harry blinked and turned. “Aunt Clarissa?” Enzo’s wife, a brunette woman with large blue eyes, grinned at him and moved in for a hug.

 

“Harry dear! I missed the chance to say goodbye to you earlier.” Clarissa sat back, flicking her hair over one shoulder. “Ed and Edna are back in school too. Though they didn’t go overseas. Makes me feel all alone and defenseless.”

 

As Clarissa had once clobbered an Acceptance in her kitchen with nothing more than a heavy frying pan and sheer determination, Harry knew she was simply feeling sentimental. Said Acceptance had apparently thought if it went after Harry in a confined space, it would have a better chance. What it had failed to reckon with however, was Clarissa’s protective streak. The pan still had an impression of an angelic face in it.

 

Remembering the debacle, Harry smiled. “I don’t think you’d ever be defenseless. You’re too gung-ho for that.”

 

Clarissa smiled. “I suppose you’re right dear. What’s your new school like?”

 

“The school’s pretty nice, though I could do without my head of house. It’s like a bat got human form.”

 

“You know, with the sort of stuff you get into, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was true. Stranger things have happened.”

 

Before Harry could respond, there was a bang, and Rodin reappeared, clutching the counter. Clarissa and Harry both jumped up and helped drag him upright. Taking a handkerchief from Clarissa, he mopped up blood from his face. “Put up one hell of a fight.” He said. Then he grinned and produced what looked like two metal clubs, until he spread them, revealing them to be Tessen fans. Harry noticed they were glowing orange and blue.

 

“For your pleasure, I give you Kiyohime. These babies have her soul sealed inside. They have the icy fury she felt as she pursued her reluctant lover, and the fiery breath she used to kill him before she was dispatched.”

 

He looked on, pleased, as Harry took them and promptly bisected an old barstool with one. A wave of the fan had a jet of fire gusting out to set the wood alight. Another wave had pure ice gushing to put it out.

 

Harry laughed. “These things rock! Uncle Rodin, you’re the best!”

 

Rodin grinned and lit a cigar with one thumb. “Nothing I don’t already know witch boy.” The smug look lasted just long enough for Clarissa to reach out and pinch him. “But thanks all the same.”

 

Harry closed the fans and attached them to his waist. Then he hugged Clarissa and grasped the portal gem. “I have to get back. Hopefully I’ll see you during the holidays.”

 

Clarissa waved to him as he opened the portal. “Bye dear! Feel free to write!”

 

~***~

 

Harry re-appeared on the lawn behind his mother. He also happened to arrive directly next to Theodore Nott, who staggered and nearly fell over. “Sorry.”

 

Nott waved it off. Don’t sweat it.”

 

Harry saw that most of the other houses had gathered, with the exception of Gryffindor, who were still straggling out.

 

Bayonetta was less than pleased. As the last person arrived on the lawn, accompanied by Professor McGonagall, she snapped her fingers, causing the mannequins to animate and jump up. “This class was supposed to begin twenty minutes ago. Therefore it seems fair that I should remove twenty points from every house that was late.”

 

There was an immediate outcry from the Gryffindor’s which had been the most prominent offenders, but McGonagall looked strangely pleased. Harry wondered if she had been testing his mother.

 

A few short commands had everyone lined up. Harry noticed suddenly that the Headmaster was watching from the steps, along with Professor Snape.

 

~***~

 

“Stop brooding Severus.” Dumbledore poked Snape subtly. “I asked only that she explain herself. I did not say that I trusted her completely.”

 

Snape actually growled. “She condemned him.”

 

“Did she? I wasn’t aware you cared so much.” When Snape stared at him, Dumbledore’s eyes grew slightly harder. “I did hear about last night’s common room debacle, you realize.” When Snape flushed, Dumbledore continued. “Harry has arrived here, hale and hearty, and clearly better off for his experiences.” He gestured to where Harry was helping his mother position mannequins. “I do not ask that you give him special treatment. I do not even ask that you _like_ him. I only ask that you treat him as you would any other of your Slytherins.”

 

Obsidian eyes met blue, and Snape flinched. It was like looking into chips of ice. Finally, Snape nodded, looking sour.

 

“Good. If she can indeed be trusted, perhaps we can convince her to help us. We both know that Quirrell has changed. Having someone like her on our side could very well give us the protective edge we need.”

 

“I still think it unwise to keep the stone inside the school itself. I have no idea _what_ has happened to Quirrell, apart from a sudden fascination with turbans.”

 

“Gringotts was breached shortly after Hagrid retrieved the stone. Truthfully, I could think of no place safer for it.”

 

Snape frowned as he watched Harry start arming the mannequins. “Oblivion perhaps? What _are_ those creatures?”

 

“Angels apparently. I was only told that these are accurate representations of the beings that the Umbra faced. As for the stone, it’s destruction is not for me to decide.” He nudged Snape again. “Now then let us watch. I profess myself curious as to her teaching methods.”

 

~***~

 

Harry watched as his mother lined the mannequins up in front of the first years. “Now then. Everyone show me what you feel is a defensive stance.”

 

Most of the students shifted into a variation of an offensive stance. Several students unbalanced themselves and fell over, causing both Harry and Bayonetta to wince.

 

Bayonetta sighed. “First off, no stance should ever make it impossible for you to stand. Secondly, most of you are in an attack stance.” She strode over to a Ravenclaw that had their arms crossed in front of their face. “This is a bit closer to the mark. Five points to your house.”

 

She snapped her fingers again. As one the angels dropped into an attack stance. “Their weapons will not injure you, aside from a few bruises perhaps. They will attack in one of three regions. Head, chest, and legs.” The angels raised their staffs above their heads, then held them like a spear, and finally rather as one would hold a golf club. “Your job is to block. For the time being they will telegraph their strikes, but as you become proficient, this will stop.”

 

She backflipped behind the Affinity mannequins. “Show me what you’ve got. On the count of three. One. Two.” She snapped her fingers.

 

Most of the first years fell down. Several of them managed to block and two Hufflepuffs actually attempted to make a return jab.

 

This last action resulted in a loud ringing sound, and the affinities promptly blocked the attack and launched a spinning kick that sent them stumbling back.

 

“Blocking only!” Bayonetta shouted to them. Then she snapped her fingers. The Affinities stopped. “They will immediately respond with a counter attack.” She strode towards the students. “I also saw several of you blocking with your legs. Do _not_ do this, it will only serve to knock you over and leave you more vulnerable. The appropriate response is to _dodge_.” She raised her hand. “Again.”

 

~***~

 

 

Twenty minutes later one of the Gryffindors finally snapped. “This is ridiculous!” He pointed at Harry. “Why is he not even doing anything?!”

 

Bayonetta glanced over to where Harry was correcting Theodore’s stance. When he nodded, she snapped her fingers. As one every single mannequin left off their students and charged Harry.

 

Harry grinned and drew Kiyohime from his waist. “Time to test these out.”

 

He launched himself off the closest Affinity’s spear. Twenty of the Affinities promptly launched themselves into the air. The rest morphed their spears into heavenly sousaphones and started firing shots. Harry quickly closed one of the fans and used it as club to knock three of the closest blasts into the ones behind them, causing them to implode. Then he concentrated and felt Astarte’s wings burst from his back, propelling him above the mess of fighters.

 

He fired two rounds from Dafne and Partenope into the spears of the closest Affinities, forcing them to fall and collide with several of the sousaphone wielders. Then he dropped, grabbing one of the spears and sending it spiraling down in a wide arc, disabling the rest of the snipers.

 

A quick slice from the open Kiyohime sent a beam of ice rocketing into two Affinities, freezing them solid. Harry backflipped behind them and launched a wicked weave that sent them them flying into two others. Then he was forced to make a very quick roll to dodge the remaining five spears.

 

He grinned and sent a jet of fire that disabled one, and parried another strike with the closed fan. Another strike and a slice with the open fan took it down for the count. The he grabbed the closest attacker’s spear and used it to take down the other two before turning and plunging the spear into the chest of the last Affinity.

 

Harry grinned and straightened. “Does it _look_ like I need lessons?”

 

There was silence for a moment, then most of the students burst into applause.

 

Harry grinned as he watched the Gryffindor sulk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Those of you who follow me on DA will know it's because I wrote a valentine's fic for another fandom.
> 
> Otemoyan is an old Japanese folk song, and while it doesn't exactly fit with Kiyohime it's mostly a song that professes the love she wishes she had.
> 
> Kiyohime is a monster from Japanese folklore whose lover grew disinterested in her. When he tried to run away, she pursued him through a river before turning into a serpent and melting a bell he was hiding under.
> 
> Clarissa as mentioned previously, is my name for Enzo's wife. As mentioned here, she's far from defenseless. (And a pretty badass woman on her own)
> 
> Harry has a picture of Balder (Several actually) taken by the jet that flew him and Bayonetta to Fimbulventr.
> 
> Rodin's shooting gallery is my explanation for the Angel Attack game in Bayonetta one.
> 
> Enjoy everyone!


	10. Class act

After the class had been dismissed, Harry was pointed towards the greenhouses by Professor McGonagall. “Your next class will be Herbology with Professor Sprout.”

 

Professor Sprout turned out to be the professor who had taken the flower at the sorting. She was also, Harry soon discovered, one of the least biased, and most cheerful people he had ever met. Harry found that she reminded him very much of Clarissa.

 

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen! I hope you aren’t too tired from your self-defense class.”

 

There was a general murmur from both the Gryffindors and the Slytherins.

 

Sprout frowned. “That’s too bad. You’ll have to miss out on this demonstration of a bruise healing plant.” She smirked when she received instant attention. “A special request from Professor Bayonetta and our school mediwitch, Madame Pomfrey. I’ll be using the demonstration portion of class to help get you lot back into good health.”

 

Sprout motioned to a plant sitting innocently on the table. It looked exactly like an ordinary Aloe Vera plant, save that it was a good five feet tall and a striking shade of jewel-bright purple. “This is Purple Aloe.” When Harry was unable to restrain a snort, she glanced at him. “I’m sure Mister Potter over there knows exactly why it is named as such.”

 

“Muggles saw one and named the other.”

 

Sprout smiled. “Precisely. Ten points to Slytherin. In this case muggles named this plant after the less magical Aloe Vera. While the Vera variety _can_ speed healing, this plant is far more potent. Line up and you’ll see. Mister Potter, since you are apparently uninjured, you can help administer the plant.”

 

The rest of the class was quite fun. For Harry, at least. Professor Sprout took great delight in showing the healing process off. This would have been fine, had the process not been so disturbing. Wherever the plant’s juices were applied, the wound or bruise would visibly bubble. In some cases it would even peel away like a scab.

 

After the third student fainted, Sprout sighed. Reviving them with a quick spell, she said,“For goodness sake! If you don’t have the stomach for this, you’ll never make it through your potions class! You will be working with much worse ingredients with Professor Snape!”

 

She ended up awarding Harry thirty points and a pass from that classes homework for being the only one not to so much as flinch. This garnered nasty looks from the Gryffindors, but Harry largely ignored them. They were beginning to remind Harry of a group of kittens that puffed up when they saw their reflection in a mirror.

 

~***~

Transfiguration was a more difficult endeavor. Professor McGonagall turned out to be the teacher for this class, and the Gryffindor head of house. Her apparent coolness towards Harry seemed to have vanished, replaced by something resembling professional curiosity. She watched him like a hawk through most of the lecture period, and when he began having troubles with his wand, approached him.

 

“Perhaps a different wand is needed, Mister Potter.” She said gently, as his wand let out a sound like the yowl of a cat, making students at nearby tables jump.

 

Harry huffed. “It _chose_ me, and Ollivander said that the wand chooses the wizard, for good or ill.”

 

Before McGonagall could respond, one of the Gryffindors piped up suddenly. “Well, he’s trying to sell you a _new_ wand isn’t he? Of course he’d say that. Mine’s a family wand.” This was apparently not in his favor however, as the matchstick he was trying to transfigure was stubbornly resisting change. The redhead was looking unwilling to admit defeat however.

 

“Unclench your teeth Mister Weasley, or you may damage them.” To Harry she said, “Mister Ollivander is not wrong, but just because a wand chooses someone, it does not mean it will _behave_ for them.”

 

“No kidding.” He growled and slammed the wand down. “Screw this!” He snapped his fingers and zapped the matchstick with a blast of energy.

 

“Language Mister-“ She cut off abruptly and held up the newly formed needle. “Well that was certainly effective.” She said weakly.

 

“I just don’t think wands will work for me. I’ve always done magic a different way.”

 

“Keep trying to use it anyway.” She advised. “In some cases it has merely been a case of the wand not being familiar to the user.” Then she added, “Perhaps you should speak to Professor Flitwick after his class. He knows the most about wands in the school, except perhaps the headmaster. He may be able to help.”

 

~***~

Unfortunately, Professor Flitwick seemed mystified when Harry brought it up. “Yours is a very curious case, Mister Potter. I have never seen a wand behave in the manner yours has.”

 

Earlier in the class, the twig he was supposed to have been igniting had let out a howling sound, turned to glass, and exploded into a cloud of powder. Harry had lost two subsequent sticks before he finally got fed up and had ignited it with a zap of infernal energy.

 

“When I was choosing a wand,and when I was a first year myself, I made quite a few things explode.” Professor Flitwick said. “I eventually discovered I had been forcing far too much power through the wands. I wonder if this is not a similar case.”

 

Harry shrugged. “I don’t exactly pull my punches.”

 

“Perhaps that’s your problem then.”

 

~***~

Harry didn’t get the opportunity to test this theory for a while however. Defense Against the Dark Arts, which Harry had been rather looking forward to, turned out to be a bit of a joke. Professor Quirrell stuttered so badly it was a wonder he could cast any spells at all. He spent most of the lesson stuttering about defensive spellwork, and seemed disinclined to actually demonstrate any of them. Harry found himself wishing he was in his Aunt’s class. He felt he would actually learn something there.

 

Quirrel _did_ teach them the Lumos spell however, which was one of the few spells that his wand would perform on command, if brighter than it should have been. Harry quickly developed a sort of striking motion, rather as one would strike a match.

 

Potions on the other hand, turned out to be just shy of an outright war for various reasons.

 

~***~

Snape sneered as he watched the students file in. Then he frowned as he watched Potter appear from thin air. While he knew the boy wasn’t apparating, he was at a loss as to how he was getting around undetected. He supposed it was another one of his Umbra tricks.

 

As soon as the last student was in, he stepped out of his hiding spot and swept into the room. To his secret delight, most of them jumped. Potter was one of the few exceptions, and he merely raised an eyebrow, looking bored. Determined not to engage him, he started roll call.

 

~***~

Harry snorted and sat back on his stool as Snape started calling names.

 

“Mister Potter, our newest celebrity.”

 

Harry blinked. “Celebrity? Maybe in Paradiso’s ranks. I don’t pretend to have a following here.”

 

Snape gave him a hard stare, but said nothing for a moment. Then he said, “Tell me, what would you get if you added an infusion of wormwood to asphodel?” When Harry shrugged, he frowned.

 

“Pity you don’t know. How about this? Where can I find a bezoar?”

 

Harry only shrugged again.

 

“Very well, what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?”

 

Harry rolled his eyes and grinned when he heard Lady Astarte whisper in the back of his mind. “Apparently they’re the same plant, so nothing really.” Then he tilted his head, listening to her. “Asphodel and wormwood seem to make something called the draught of living death, and a bezoar is some kind of all purpose poison cure that you find in the stomach of goat.” He frowned. “I agree with Lady Astarte, you wizards are a weird lot. How desperate do you have to be to discover something like that?”

 

Snape stared at him wordlessly for a moment.

 

“Besides, I compound. I don’t brew.” He dipped his hand into Purgatorio and pulled out a handful of jewel bright objects. “Unicorn Horn, Mandrake Root, and Baked Gecko.” Then he scooped them up and crammed them together, working his hands rather like one would mold dough. There was a flare of energy from between his hands and he drew them back to reveal an object that looked something like a bejeweled, golden conch shell.

 

He held it out to Theodore Nott, who was sitting next to him. “Here, have a Magic Flute.”

 

Nott took it, looking nonplussed. “What’s it do?”

 

Harry grinned. “it’s a defensive weapon against angels. You blow on the end, and it lets out a sonic blast. It’ll destroy the lesser angels, and seriously hurt the stronger ones. If you’re lucky, it’ll be enough for you to get away. Just remember that it’s short range.”

 

“Uh thanks.” Harry grinned at him and pulled a thin chain out of Purgatorio. A few deft twists and a quick knot had the flute turned into a necklace.

 

Then he looked back to find that Snape was still staring at him. “What? You want one too?” Or would you rather have a Midas Bell?

 

Snape scowled. “I would rather you brew the potion on the board.”

 

Harry shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

 

~***~

The potion they were making, whatever it was, (Harry hadn’t bothered to check) looked accurate, if he went by the description on the board.

 

Lady Astarte on the other hand, was a much more reliable source in his opinion, and she had given him several tips. By the time Snape had made it to his and Nott’s table, Harry had managed to double the strength and efficiency.

 

This did not seem to impress Snape however. “Potter, Nott. Precisely what do you think you have created?”

 

“Whatever it is you wanted us to make. Lady Astarte just showed us how to make it better.”

 

“What you have created is a pharmacy grade variety. Which makes it rather useless for the purposes of administering it to students.”

  
“Lady Astarte says a spoonful should get the same effect as the one you were going for.” Then he glanced over Snape’s shoulder. “Don’t move please.”

 

Snape started to say something, but froze when Harry whipped out one of his guns and fired it just past his ear. “Potter! What in Merlin’s name?!”

 

Harry grimaced when a Decoration fell from the air, sliding out of Purgatorio to land on the table in front of them. “That.”

 

The thundercloud that had been gathering on his face vanished, to be replaced by confusion. Snape stared down at the porcelain white face and golden wings that were fluttering in death throes. “What is this?”

 

“A Decoration. It’s a type of angel from the third sphere. They travel in packs with a Dear. They never stray very far from it, so the Dear must be close by.” Then he scowled. “Speaking of…” He drew a sigil and jumped through it. There was the sound of gunshots, then a giant foot erupted out of thin air, ramming something out of Purgatorio and up against the black-board, shattering it.

 

Snape had a brief glimpse of a bearded white face attached to a circle of spikes before it suddenly split and peeled back into four sections rather like a banana peel, revealing a dripping mass of red underneath. There was a rushing sound and an energy of some kind began forming.

 

Harry dropped out of Purgatorio at that exact moment and blasted the creature with a hail of bullets. It let out a shriek and slumped, before finally dissolving in a shower of gold.

 

Harry holstered his guns. “That was the Dear.” In the ringing silence that followed he said. “They kinda prove that beauty is only skin deep.”

 

Snape said nothing for a long moment, then waved his wand at the black-board, restoring it to normal. Than he sat down behind his desk and started scrubbing his face with his hands. Finally he looked up. “You and Mister Nott take Longbottom to the hospital wing before I change my mind about giving you a detention.”

 

Longbottom had spilled his cauldron when Harry had killed the Decoration. The potion had clearly not been made correctly, as he had developed some brilliantly colored boils of various colors and shades that made Harry think of a christmas tree.

 

~***~

 

They were halfway down a hallway before Longbottom seemed to lose the ability to keep silent. “That was awesome!”  


Harry blinked. “Uh thanks. It’s kinda what I do.”

 

“The jump, and, and the way you just shot that thing next to Snape!”

 

Fortunately, this last exclamation seemed to render him more or less speechless. Harry shrugged. “I didn’t have time to get Kiyohime out. And I don’t really like Snape all that much anyway, so I didn’t exactly feel like warning him.”

 

Theodore Nott snickered at this. “Did you see how white he went when the big one showed up? What was that foot anyway?”

 

“It’s Lady Astarte’s. She’s my contract partner.” He grinned. “Wanna meet her?”

 

Longbottom looked ecstatic. “Can we?!”

 

Harry repressed a laugh with difficulty. “Sure.” He beckoned them into the nearby Great Hall. “ _GRAN ORS!_ ”

 

It was to both their credit that neither boy fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! We finally have Harry's incantation, which, if I'm reading my translations correctly, means Elder Darkness.
> 
> Dears and Decorations struck me as some of the creepiest of the angels, given their tendency to fire a shot with their face open. Snape would be similarly disturbed, I'm sure.
> 
> Enjoy everyone! And next chapter we'll meet Dudley, I promise!


	11. Sticks and Stones

After that first week, classes settled down somewhat. Harry quickly learned not to use his wand for anything other than the most basic of spells. Anything more complex than a Lumos tended to cause a variety of problems.

 

The only class Harry found he couldn’t tolerate, was Defense Against the Dark Arts. He didn’t know if it was Quirrell or the way he talked, but he always ended up with a headache by the time it was over. He had even asked Lady Astarte about it, but the Infernal had said while she detected strange magic in the room, it wasn’t directed at him.

 

It was Theodore that had finally managed to give Harry an idea about his wand. Harry had allowed him down into the Umbra quarters of the common room so they could study. (The older years had been having some kind of loud game involving a knife and a great deal of shouting.) He had however, blocked off most of the rooms beforehand, leaving only his bedroom open.

 

“I don’t suppose you’re the first Umbra student are you?”

 

Harry shrugged. “Probably not. I don’t really know though.”

 

“Have you looked around here?” He flipped a page in his textbook. “Maybe someone left a journal or something.”

 

Harry blinked. “I think there was a library near the back. I don’t know what’s in it though. I haven’t really had the chance to look.”

 

“Maybe I could help?”

 

Harry bit his lip, debating with himself. Finally he said, “Mom says I should have an ally. I guess you’ll do.”

 

Theodore let out an inelegant snort and closed his textbook. “Thanks. I think.”

 

To his surprise, Harry actually flushed. “Sorry. It’s just you know, supposed to be trusted allies only.”

 

Nott grinned. “Glad I count then. Where’s this library?”

 

Harry pointed down a hall. “Down there if I remember right.”

 

“Come on then. No time like the present.”

 

 

~***~

 

Bayonetta sighed as she listened to the professors chatter at the table. “I don’t suppose you’d consent to stop eyeing my classes the way you do.” She smirked slightly. “It’s not as if _I’m_ going to hurt them.”

 

The headmaster, who was sitting next to her, frowned. “Frankly I’m more concerned about the students attacking one another. It’s only a matter of time before they start trying to show off to each other.”

 

Bayonetta shrugged. “They’re all learning at the same rate. If they think they have anything to lord over the others, I’ll just set them straight.” When the headmaster opened his mouth she added, “Painlessly. Enough points lost will be enough of a deterrent.”

 

Snape, who was next to the headmaster, snorted. “You clearly haven’t dealt with the Gryffindors.”

 

Predictably, the Headmaster was quick to chastise him. Bayonetta tuned them out in favor of eyeing the other teachers.

 

After a moment she said, “Wha’s up with him?” She indicated Quirrell. “I’ve never seen a more nervous man.” She ignored the ill concealed cough of “Enzo” from Jeanne.

 

Both men blinked. After a moment Snape said, “He wasn’t always like that. He used to be quite normal. Then he took a year off to get hands-on experience.”

 

The Headmaster nodded. “He had been teaching out of books before. As I understand it, he ran into some trouble with a vampire, among other things, and when he came back, well…”

 

Bayonetta watched as Quirrell attempted to spear a sausage, with minimal success. “Apparently he’s lost all nerve. Harry says he’s not much of a teacher either. He told me the other day that he always gets a headache after that class.”

 

Both professors exchanged looks with each other. After a moment the headmaster said, “Just the one class?”

 

Jeanne spoke up. “Just the one.” She frowned. “There’s something wrong in his classroom too. It always has some strange magic leftover that shouldn’t be there. I don’t know what it is, just that it shouldn’t be there.

 

The headmaster pursed his lips. “Would the two of you mind coming to my office tonight? I think there’s something you should know.”

 

~***~

 

Harry snapped the door to the library shut, still looking unusually embarrassed. “I-sorry. I’m not used to actually speaking to someone my age who’s intelligent.” He blushed harder when Theodore raised an eyebrow. “Not that I thought you weren’t!”

 

Nott grinned. “Quit while you’re behind, yeah?” Then he sobered. “Besides, I don’t think our house has done a stellar showing with you. Malfoy mentioned that he saw you first in Gladrags, back in Diagon Alley. He’s not exactly the best person to meet first, swotty little ponce that he is.”

 

Harry resolutely turned and started examining shelves. “Better than some I guess. You know that really fat first year?”

 

Theodore blinked. “Dursley?”

 

Harry nodded. “Yeah. Apparently he’s my cousin. By blood anyway.”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Nott said in disbelief.

 

Harry shook his head. “Nope. Apparently his mother is my birth mother’s sister.”

 

“You two look nothing alike.”

 

“That’s probably for the best.” Harry pulled several promising looking books off the shelf. “Why would I want to look like a-“

 

“House on legs?” Nott finished. He held up a scroll with a seal that had a wand emblazoned on it. “This look like anything?”

 

Harry took it and opened it. “Sort of. It looks like it’s talking about the types of wood used to make wands.” He set it aside. “I don’t understand most of it though. It looks like it’s someone’s essay. He pointed to one corner, where an ornate A was written. “Looks like she got a good grade.”

 

Nott peered at it. “If they use the same scale we do, then it’s barely a passing grade. A stands for acceptable, and the higher grades are E for exceeds expectations, and O for outstanding. The failing grades are P for poor, D for dreadful, and T for troll.”

 

Harry stared at him for a moment before heading deeper into the library. “You lot are weird, you know that?”

 

Theodore grinned. “Pot and kettle Harry.”

 

Harry grinned. “If you say so Theodore.”

 

“Theo, _please_.”

 

~***~

Bayonetta glanced around the office. Both McGonagall and Snape were there as well, looking grim. “What’s this all about?”

 

Dumbledore sat down behind his desk and sighed. “I had hoped to give it more time before coming to a decision, but it looks as if I shall have to throw caution to the winds.” He looked at both her and Jeanne in turn. “What do either of you know about an item called the Sorcerer’s Stone?”

 

Jeanne sniffed. “Magical stone that can create a potion that extends life. It can also change things into gold. The last I heard one was floating around in England, but I haven’t exactly bothered to track it. There used to be one in Berlin, but it was destroyed about two hundred years ago.”

 

Dumbledore pursed his lips. “The one that was in England is now within the confines of the castle. Specifically in the out of bounds corridor.”

 

“Are you out of your mind?”

 

The headmaster smiled. “Now you’re just quoting my other professors.” He sobered. “I sent Hagrid to retrieve the stone from Gringotts, just in time. Its vault was broken into the day after the stone was removed. The only other place that is anywhere near as safe is here at Hogwarts.”

 

“I take it that hasn’t been enough.”

 

“There have been…attempts.” He frowned. “And as you yourselves have noted, there is something…off about Professor Quirrell. He used to be our Muggle Studies Professor, but he took a year long sabbatical so he could gain first hand experience before teaching Defense against the Dark Arts.”

 

“Came back a nervous wreck.” Snape grunted. “I can tell something changed, but he won’t say what.”

 

“Personally I think he ran afoul of some particularly dark magic.” Professor McGonagall said. “Even so, it doesn’t explain everything.”

 

“ _My_ personal theory is he may have encountered some remnant of Voldemort’s inner circle. Or one of his traps at any rate.” Both Snape and McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore took no notice.

 

“I was under the impression he was dead.” Bayonetta said.

 

Dumbledore shook his head. “I had hoped so myself, but I have recently received intelligence that this may not the case. Having met you, I cannot help but wonder if he made some sort of deal with another being.”

 

“You know, Luka did say that he heard rumors that Voldemort had made a deal with a demon.”

 

The headmaster grimaced. “I had heard that as well, though I simply wrote it off as something born of hysteria. Clearly that was a mistake to disregard.”

 

“Don’t be too sure.” Jean said. “Infernals like to talk, and there’s been no chatter about a contract, that _we’ve_ heard about.”

 

“Well, that is neither here nor there.” Dumbledore rose. “The fact of the matter is that the stone is within the confines of the castle, and _someone_ has been making attempts on it. I would like to ask you to add your own protections to it.”

 

“And why should we do that?”

 

To his credit, Dumbledore didn’t flinch from Bayonetta’s tone. “Because if Voldemort is indeed alive, he will stop at nothing to gain the stone. And if he does gain it, the first thing he’ll do is try to finish what he started.”

 

“And why was he after Harry’s parents in the first place?”

 

The headmaster pursed his lips. “I don’t pretend to understand the inner workings of his mind just yet.”

 

Bayonetta eyed him for a moment. “You realize there’s only one permanent solution, don’t you?”

 

Dumbledore frowned. “I have already had the notion suggested, but it is for Nicholas and Perenelle to decide its destruction, not myself.” He shook his head. “I shall take you to the chambers tomorrow evening.”

 

As they left the office, Jeanne remarked, “You know, you didn’t actually agree to help.”

 

Bayonetta snorted. “And he didn’t actually answer my question.” She sniffed. “Still, if Voldemort really is still alive, then we should keep him out of the way until we figure something out.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

~***~

 

“I can’t even read half this stuff.”

 

Harry grinned as Theo tossed another scroll to him. “It’s Enochian. And trust me, it’s probably better that way. These get pretty nasty.”

 

“I’ll take your word for it.” He glanced at the ancient looking clock that hung over the doorway. “We should get back to the common room. Professor Snape has our weekly house meeting tonight.”

 

The house meeting occurred every Friday, and usually ended up being a forum for homework questions, and occasionally, a public reprimand for wrongdoing. Most of the Slytherins did their best to avoid this.

 

~***~

 

After dropping an armload of scrolls off in his bedroom, Harry led Theodore back up to the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

 

“Where do you reckon that goes?” Theodore pointed towards a Gryffindor crest set above a hallway off the main staircase.

 

“The Gryffindor common room I think. Apparently they’re all connected down here. The rest of the halls are behind the stairs.”

 

“Wicked.”

 

As Khepri’s portrait snapped shut behind them, someone shouted, “Think fast Nott!”

 

Theodore had just enough time to yelp before a knife flashed towards him.

 

Harry threw out an arm and one of Lady Astarte’s hands launched out and grabbed Theodore, dragging him out of the way. The knife connected with Khepri’s portrait and promptly exploded in a small shower of metal shards as it impacted against a shield that had suddenly sprang into existence.

 

In the ringing silence that followed, Snape said lazily, “Detention Dursley.”

 

Dudley rounded on him. “But I was just practicing my levitation spells!”

 

There was a grinding sound as the entrance to the common room closed up the stairs. “Indeed, and you habitually do so with dangerous implements?”

 

As they argued, Theo glanced up. “Can you put me down please?” Astarte’s hand placed him back on the ground and ruffled his hair.

 

Harry grinned. “I think she likes you.”

 

Theodore grimaced. “Somehow that worries me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Harry seems a little unusual in this chapter, it's because he's not actually used to being around people his own age. Bayonetta and Jeanne Homeschooled him and thus Harry is not used to actually having a friend his own age(I.E. Theodore) and tends to misstep massively. 
> 
> To whoever said there was a slash vibe on ff.net, I'd like to remind you they're eleven and thus more interested in being kids than anything else. Please don't read so deep. Plus Harry is well aware of his own longevity...
> 
> I'm sure i'll be asked, so I''ll say now that the knife game was stabscotch, though some know it simply as the knife game. The magical version is far more deadly.
> 
> Also, be very afraid Theodore :D


	12. Loki

“Next week’s first year class will be on low grade memory potions.” Snape surveyed the room. I expect you all to do the reading in the appropriate chapter beforehand, as the purpose of the potion is to help the drinker remember an earlier event. A bad brew will _remove_ memory. While this is correctable, Madame Pomfrey would like to avoid it, for obvious reasons.”

 

He paused and glanced around the room. “Now then, what is the first year charm assignment?”

 

One of the first years raised their hand. “Professor Flitwick wants us to write six inches on fire spells and draw or get a drawing. He’s going to teach us an animation charm.”

 

“I drew the boogeyman!” This came from another first year, who excitedly held up a piece of parchment. “He’s evil, so he’s covered in black light!”

 

“No!” The entire common room went silent at Harry’s sudden outburst. “He has green light.” He shook himself and jumped to his feet, twirling his hand. “I’m going for a walk.” He grabbed his pet and jumped into the air, vanishing from sight.

 

It took a full minute for anyone to speak. Snape jolted as he suddenly realized just what the boy had revealed.

 

“Perhaps he doesn't need the potion.” He mused.

 

~***~

Harry scowled and kicked at a loose stone, sending it flying. Watching Muncher bounce after it, he growled. “I can’t believe I said that!”

 

“Said what, I wonder.”

 

Harry whirled and drew one of his guns.. “Who are you?!”

 

The other boy yelped and flailed back. “You can see me?”

 

Harry snorted. “Well, duh. We’re both in Purgatorio.

 

“Purga-what?”

 

Harry sighed. “Purgatorio. The realm between?” He rolled his eyes when the other boy continued to look blank. “Oh for the love of Sheba!” He waved one of his guns around idly. “You’re actually _in_ it, and you don’t know what this place is?”

 

The other boy grimaced. “Been here for years now. Not like anyone could see me till now.”

 

Harry grimaced. “Years? Really?”

 

The other boy huffed and pushed back his hood, revealing black hair in neat braids that was beginning to turn silver at the roots. “Ah shite, what does it matter? Folks think I’m dead anyway. Gave up right quick when they weren’t able to see me anymore.” He shrugged. “Had a lovely funeral in Central Park and everything.”

 

Harry blinked. “That’s in America. This is Scotland.”

 

The other boy shrugged again. “Turns out there’s _some_ benefits to being stuck here. I hopped a plane. First class was nice. Turns out I don’t need to eat here either.” He pulled an apple out of his pocket and bit into it with a loud crunch. “Pretty nice to do though.”

 

“How’d you get here?”

 

“Beats me. One day I’m playing ball with my dad, next second I’ve vanished into thin air. You?”

 

Harry snorted. “ _I_ walked in here. Maybe not the most appealing place, but _most_ things leave you alone. He fired a shot over the boy’s shoulder making him yelp.

 

The yelp turned into an outright scream as the affinity that had been preparing to spear him slumped over his back, dissolving in a shower of gold. “Then there’s this bunch.”

 

“What the hell?!”

 

“Heaven actually, or something resembling it.”

 

“Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.”

 

Harry shrugged. “You want proof? Hang around, more’s bound to show up. And they really aren’t all that keen on humans. Or Umbra.”

 

“Umbra?”

 

Harry sighed and grabbed the other boy’s arm, dragging him out of the way of an angelic lance. “Less talking, more fighting, little man. If you think you can.”

 

The other boy grinned. “Oh I have a few tricks up my sleeve. And my name’s not little man!”

 

Harry grimaced. “You’ll need more than a few _tricks_. And if you have a name, _use_ it.”

 

“Likewise, mate! And how’s this for a trick?” The boy made a flinging motion and a series of glowing cards arced out, slicing the decorations around him to pieces.

 

Harry shrugged. “Not bad.” He grinned and plugged an acceptance in the head. “And the name’s Harry.”

The other boy grinned and sliced an applaud across the face. “Loki.”

 

Harry grinned as they were surrounded. “Well then Loki, fancy yourself a little contest?”

 

Loki grinned right back. Over the growl of the chain chomp he said, “Bring it on!”

 

~***~

 

“There.” Bayonetta and Jeanne stood back, letting the symbol fade.

 

The headmaster leaned over the smoking patch of ground. “I don’t suppose this is particularly safe.”

 

Jeanne smirked. “We’ve set it not to trigger for a select few people. “Quirrell obviously isn’t one of them.”

 

Dumbledore sighed. “That would be for the best.”

 

Bayonetta snorted. “If you’re so unsure of him, why let him teach?”

 

Dumbledore sighed again. “Because it’s not the student’s I worry for. Not most of them anyway.”

 

Bayonetta’s eyebrows rose. “Most?”

 

“Your son would be an obvious exception.” The headmaster conjured an armchair from thin air and sat down. “I have done my best to suppress things, but there is still a danger. Not everyone looked favorably on the Umbra clan, after all. And he is headstrong and impetuous. It’s a dangerous combination in one so young. Believe me, I know from experience. The most I can guarantee is that no harm shall come to him from those connected to this school.” He paused and added, “With the possible exception of Professor Quirrell.”

 

“You think there’s a threat?”

 

“From his schoolmates? I very much doubt it. Unless one of them has suddenly allied with an eldritch abomination without my knowing, I think on the whole there is very little physical threat. And Harry has already proven himself adept at withstanding verbal barbs. It is what I cannot find that bothers me. Something has been wandering about the school, disturbing classrooms and dormitories. I have yet to discover the cause.”

 

Jeanne snorted. “Are you sure it’s not that silly poltergeist?” Jeanne had had precisely one encounter with Peeves, largely because Peeves himself was terrified of her. The poltergeist had made the mistake of attempting to mess with Jeanne’s class, and had promptly met up with the business end of Gommorrah. He had been studiously avoiding her since then.

The headmaster grimaced. “Peeves has already stated that it is not him.” He steepled his fingers. “With our likeliest suspect out of the way, that leaves an intruder. It does not seem to be malicious, but we have had theft of food reported from the kitchen stores.”

 

Bayonetta made a face. “That leaves out angels then, and infernals, for that matter. They don’t eat food from earth.”

 

“I’ll take your word for it. Frankly my next guess would be the Weasely twins, but then there would be a prank of some sort left behind, at least where the classrooms are concerned.” He frowned. “I am reasonably certain it is not Harry either, as he has no need to steal food.”

 

“What makes you sure it’s not Quirrell?”

 

“Too simple.” was the blunt response. “And he would not dare reveal himself if he had not already achieved his goals. Where he’s concerned, I feel it better to wait.” He sighed and rose, banishing the armchair. “Whatever is the cause, it seems to be less than dangerous. I suppose the best option is to simply wait this out as well.”

 

“If you say so.”

 

~***~

 

“Not bad there Loki.” Harry grinned and sliced the last angel with a fiery slash from Kiyohime. He snapped it shut as the angel dissolved. “Unfortunately, I win.”

 

Loki snorted. “By one, mate. Big deal.”

 

Harry frowned. “And here I was all set to give you a consolation prize.”

 

“Yeah, sure you were.”

 

Harry scowled. “I _was_ going to spring you from Purgatorio, but if that’s the way you feel…” He trailed off and grinned when Loki’s eyes widened. Before he could say anything however, Harry laughed. “Relax. I’ll get you out. Maybe we can even train you so that you don’t do it by accident again.” He aimed his gun at the door and fired a crescent shaped blast, obliterating the angelic seal.

 

“You do this kind of stuff often?”

 

Harry grinned and grabbed his hand. “You have no idea. Now hold my hand and don’t let go until I say so.”

 

He drew a sigil and strode forward, more or less dragging Loki behind him. Loki shuddered as he transitioned back into the Earth realm. “That felt weird.” Then he yelped and stumbled back as Muncher started investigating his feet.

 

Harry snorted. “Get a grip. It’s only my Chain Chomp. Just don’t tempt him or anything. C’mon.”

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“To find mom. We need to figure out what to do with you.”

 

~***~

 

They didn’t need to look hard as it turned out. They nearly collided with her several corridors away.

 

“And what are you doing out here?”

 

Harry grimaced. “I needed a walk. I went out and found him stuck in Purgatorio.”

 

“And how did he get there?”

 

“Beats me love. It’s been years now.”

 

Harry snorted. “Accidentally apparently.”

 

Loki laced his fingers behind his head. “Hey, search me how I did it. I just know I’ve been in that creepy place for almost three years now. Spent a lot of time wandering. This place has the best food though.”

 

Jeanne sniffed. “I think we’ve found you’re “Something Else” Dumbledore.”

 

The headmaster grimaced. “I am inclined to agree. Why don’t we adjourn to my office? We can figure out what to do with him there.”

 

~***~

 

A short time later found the lot of them squeezed in Dumbledore’s office, along with the heads of houses. Harry and Loki were front and center while Bayonetta was admiring Dumbledore’s Phoenix.

 

Dumbledore cleared his throat. “Now, to be frank, young man, I find myself highly disinclined to hand you over to our child services.” He glanced at Bayonetta. “And for much the same reason I refused to hand young Harry there over to them. They are far too much at the mercy of the influential.”

Bayonetta left off stroking the Phoenix, which had since moved to her shoulder. “How do you mean?”

 

Dumbledore sighed. “In the days following the fall of Voldemort, a large number of families made applications to adopt Mister Potter over there. Some would have been fine choices, but there were many that were not. Several prominent and dark families made bids to adopt him. In the end it was only the fact that I placed him with a blood relative that put a stop to things, as blood is the one claim the ministry could not contest.”

 

He frowned. “Even now there is the occasional hearing, though they have been much more easily fielded in recent years, largely due to the sudden involvement of Gringotts. They have become unusually interested in keeping the status quo.”

 

When Bayonetta snorted, the headmaster’s expression cleared. “Ah. Of course. I suppose I should have known. I did wonder, but since they were being so determined I saw no reason to persuade them not to help, though I have a feeling they would have not have listened.”

 

He frowned again. “Back to the point. What to do with you, young man?”

 

Loki snorted. “The name’s Loki, not “Young Man”! And I don’t think there’s much you _can_ do. My folks think I’m dead, and they moved a few months after I fell into that wacky place.”

 

“We’ll come up with something for the summer months. In the meantime, we will simply say you are an exchange student here to learn magic from the angle of wizarding Britain.”

 

Jeanne lifted an eyebrow. “You’re very quick with that plan.”

 

Dumbledore grinned as he pulled a sheet of parchment from one of his desk drawers. “Egos that are stroked are egos that are not likely to dig for information. Ergo, this can be filed without much interference. And it has worked before. As the muggles are fond of saying, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.”

 

Professor Flitwick coughed to gain attention. “If I may headmaster, where will he stay? We can hardly lodge him in the great hall.”

 

“I had planned to have him sorted.”

 

“Don’t bother.” Everyone turned to see the sorting hat sitting on a shelf. The rip at the brim opened into a sort of floppy grimace. “Anyone with eyes can see the boy’s a true Slytherin.”

 

Surprisingly, Snape did not disagree with assessment. “That as may be, but without a wand, he’ll be eaten alive down there. The path of the house has begun to change in recent years, but the older students are still looked up to. It would be a disaster.”

 

“So take him to Ollivanders.” All heads turned to professor Sprout. “Better yet, take Mister Potter and his family with you.” At the looks she received she said, “We kill two birds with one stone. Your Slytherins are nothing if not attentive, Severus. If they see you are on board, they’ll follow, if only to keep from being singled out. And if we let slip that Mister Potter has taken an interest and will be there to assist in the shopping expedition…”

 

“We can put a stop to some of those silly rumors the Daily Prophet has been printing.” McGonagall finished. “Pomona, that’s brilliant!”

 

The Hufflepuff head smiled slightly.

 

Bayonetta however, looked less pleased. “Rumors?”

 

Sprout’s smile faded. “There have been a host of rumors printed in the Daily Prophet. It’s our countries primary newspaper for the magical world.”

 

Bayonetta tossed her head. “I’ve seen copies before.”

 

“Yes well, there’s been all sorts of nonsense printed, everything from him being raised by demon spawn to being a magical idiot.”

 

The atmosphere turned frosty. “My son is no idiot. Shall I be knocking some heads in?”

 

“Not at all. But having his head of house and the deputy headmistress around might make some people rethink their viewpoints. Especially since Ollivander himself has already weighed on Harry’s magical capabilities.

 

McGonagall brightened. “I had been planning to write him concerning Mister Potter’s wand issues. For all his…” She paused for a moment. Harry saw that her nostrils had flared. Finally she said “Mysteriousness, He is the foremost expert on wands in Britain. Seeing him in person will be even better.”

 

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Why do you care? It’s not like I actually need a wand.” Under his breath he muttered, “Or really wanted one.”

 

While McGonagall stared at him, Flitwick spoke up. “Call it a matter of academic curiosity I you will. And having a behaving wand will certainly do wonders for quelling rumors.”

 

Before Harry could say anything else, the headmaster broke in. “A school sanctioned trip it is then. We’ll just fill this out and get it filed, and send a short note of a _rumor_ to the Daily Prophet headquarters. Knowing them, they’ll leap on it.” He peered at Loki over his spectacles. “Unless you have any objections?”

 

Loki snorted. “Suits me fine.” He idly played with one of his magical cards, sending it fluttering around in the air. “A roof over my head and a few square meals. What’s to complain about?”

 

“Wonderful.’ He dipped a large colorful quill into an ink pot and started writing. “And what country should we say you’re from?”

 

Bayonetta smirked. “Tibet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eesh, this took way too long. Sorry for that. Real life came in with a vengeance. So As some of you may have noticed, backstory and plot are creeping in. This is my primary explanation for why Harry was left with the Dursleys. It's not that Dumbledore particularly wanted to, but he found it to be the safest option. Also, Loki. Bayonetta 2 made it pretty clear that he was reborn almost immediately after the events with Loptr. By now he's growing back into who he WAS, but Bayonetta recognizes him immediately of course. Tibet btw seems to be the area that Fimbulventr is located, Generally speaking. Hence the location as Loki's home. As to harry remembering Voldemort, it was made clear very early on that Harry remembers the killing curse. He tends to view the event as...strange, as event the Infernals are unable to explain his survival.
> 
> Also regarding Harry and Theodore. Harry is still eleven, and acutely aware of his own longevity anyway. Most of his behavior stems from the fact that Harry was homeschooled by Jeanne, and thus has had little interaction with children his own age. (the one attempt at public school ended in disaster.) As such, Harry has no romantic interest in Theo, he DOES however desperately want to keep a friend that isn't an infernal.
> 
> Look for a lot of explanation of the more confusing things next chapter, and Harry's beast within (Which many people have been asking about.) also There's been fanart done! :0 Check it out here: art/Bayonetta-x-Harry-Potter-583996355


	13. Silver Lime

Harry grimaced as he opened the common room. “Fair warning, most of them are idiots.”

 

Loki snorted. “I’ve seen a few classes. They keep lighting each other on fire.”

 

Harry laughed. “Actually that’s just the Gryffindor Finnigan. He seems to have a little trouble with fire.”

 

“And general brainpower.” Snape muttered as he swept past them. “Wait here until I introduce him.”

 

Loki jerked a thumb towards Snape’s retreating form. “He always like that?”

 

“No.” When Loki looked relieved, he said, “Sometimes he’s worse.”

 

Snape’s voice floated back to them. “Watch it Potter.”

 

~***~

 

After Loki had been properly introduced, Snape swept over to them. “Be ready first thing tomorrow morning. We will be out all day.” He crossed his arms and turned to Loki. The Headmaster is still working on getting a room set up for you. We can have a guest quarter arranged outside the common room.”

 

Harry cocked his head. “Not necessary. And I wouldn’t put it past someone to do something. Madama Khepri has given permission to allow him downstairs.” He glanced at Loki. “Something about you being friend to the Umbra.” Then he scowled, and without turning around said, “What happened to your eye Theo?”

 

Severus glanced up to see a surprised looking Theodore Nott sporting a brilliant black eye. Several of the older Slytherins were looking smug.

 

For his part Theodore just grimaced. “Nothing.”

 

Snape scowled. So did Harry. Turning and producing what looked like a large leaf on a stick that smelled vaguely of mint, he deftly jammed it into the other boys mouth. “Eat that.”

 

Theodore bit down with a crunch. “Tastes like peppermint.”

 

Severus watched with interest as the black eye faded and vanished. “Fascinating. What is that?”

 

“A trade secret.” Harry snapped. Then he turned and said something unintelligible to the portrait guardian. When she nodded, he put two fingers to his lips and whistled, loudly. In the sudden silence that followed, there was a distinct crack as a house elf appeared.

 

“Did someone’s ask for Mipsy?”

 

Harry grinned at her. “I did. Can you please gather Theodore Nott’s things and take them down to the Slytherin Umbra quarters? He’ll be staying down there from now on.” Then he looked up to the room at large. “and anyone else who fucks with him is going to get a lot worse than a black eye!”

 

Before Severus could even begin to reprimand him for his language, one of the seventh year girls sneered. “And what can you do about it.” She shrieked as a bullet destroyed one of her earrings.

 

Harry smirked and twirled his gun. “By all means, Piss me off. I don’t mind thinning the herd.”

 

There was silence for a moment, then one of the seventh years fired off a spell. Harry backflipped with supernatural speed and smacked it back with one of his fans. Over the groaning it produced, he sighed. “You _were_ warned.”

 

Sensing a reaction, Snape growled. Loudly. “ **Enough!** ” There were several exclamations of fright. “I was not aware I was head of house over two year old vagabonds.” He glared into the crowd. “Detention Mulian. I know a bone breaking curse when I see it. You are just fortunate that impact with Potter’s fan changed it’s nature. Miss Demel, you will escort Mister Fuin to the hospital wing.”

 

Harry snorted and grabbed Theo and Loki. “C’mon you two, let’s go.” He dragged them through Khepri’s portrait. As they descended the staircase, he said, “So, Madama Khepri has agreed that you two can be down here full time. You don’t need a password for her either.”

 

Theodore grimaced. “You didn't have to do this Harry.”

 

Harry snorted. “And I suppose I should let them beat you up like the good friend that I am.”

 

Nott went red. “Well…”

 

Harry sighed. “A house divided cannot stand.” He shrugged. “One, I can handle them, and two they wouldn’t dare try something anyway.”

 

“Why?”

 

Harry’s smile was like a shark. “Because now they know Snape can’t actually stop me.”

 

After this ominous statement, he directed them into their rooms.

 

~***~

 

“No theatrics today Mister Potter if you please.”

 

Harry grimaced at Snape. “I won’t if they won’t.” He snapped.

 

Figuring this was the best he was going to get, Snape scowled and directed them towards the headmaster’s floo.

 

~***~

 

They were greeted by numerous flashing lights upon their arrival to the Leaky cauldron. This stopped quickly enough when Bayonetta aimed a weapon their way. “Get lost.”

 

This effectively scattered all but one particularly bold reporter, a rather mannish looking woman carrying an acid green quill and the most ridiculous looking pair of glasses Harry had ever seen. “Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet.” She brandished her quill like a weapon, swinging it about towards each of them in turn as her fellow reporters disapparated.

 

Bayonetta’s head was cocked, and Harry realized she was listening to Madama Butterfly. After a moment she said, “A trash Journalist eh? I do wonder why my friend keeps calling you a bug.”

 

Skeeter went white. She coughed and cleared her throat, looking nervous. “Probably a term of endearment.” She swallowed and seemed to regain some of her nerve. “If I might have a word?”

 

Jeanne opened the door to the back and headed towards the witch metal that hid Diagon Alley from sight. “You’ve had quite a few already.”

 

Skeeter was not deterred. “What’s it like raising a magically inept child?”

 

Bayonetta stopped dead. “I beg your pardon?”

 

Either Skeeter didn’t register the threat in her tone, or she was a far braver person than she looked. Severus was betting on the former.

 

“Oh it’s all anyone has talked about!” She let go of the quill so that it floated into the air and rummaged into her bag, withdrawing a sheaf of parchment. Concerned parents have been writing in to us. He can barely cast a Lumos, for Merlin’s sake!”

 

She blinked as the letters suddenly vanished from her hand, re-appearing in Harry's. As she stared at him, he clicked his fingers. The green quill burst into flame. “I can do magic just fine, thanks.” He pointed at her, and she shrieked as she was levitated into the air. “I don’t need a wand to be better than you.”

 

He tossed the papers to Bayonetta who riffled through them. “Why would they write to you anyway? It’s not as though it’s any of your business.”

 

Given that the woman was still sputtering, she didn’t seem to expect an answer. Instead she put the letters away somewhere and turned towards the alley. “I know who’s getting extra training, now.”

 

Harry scowled and followed.

 

~***~

 

Whether it was the sour mood coming from the Umbra like a cloud, the early hour, or just coincidence, the alley seemed mostly deserted. The first stop was Gringotts, where Bayonetta strode up to an open counter and deposited a large bag of something shining in front of the surly looking Goblin. “We need to make an exchange.”

 

Both Severus and Minerva winced as the goblin drew itself up.                                                                                                

 

They blinked when the goblin next to it elbowed the first one sharply and whispered something into its ear. The first Goblin’s eyes widened and it gingerly opened the bag. “It will be a pleasure doing business with you my lady.”

 

Bayonetta smirked.

 

~***~

 

“Where is it first then?”

 

“Ollivanders.” McGonagall said crisply. She tried not to eye the conspicuously large bag of galleons.

 

The proprietor of the shop was, for once, not hidden away in the shelves, but was waiting behind the counter.

 

“Ah the lady witches.” He gave Loki a faintly confused look. Young man, last time I checked, you were still supposed to be on the mountaintop.” Then his head tilted. “Or perhaps that was your brother?”

 

He didn’t flinch when Bayonetta and Jeanne both trained their weapons on him. “Who the _hell_ are you?!”

 

The man smiled faintly. “I am Garrick Ollivander, and many years ago, I was an associate of the Lumen and Umbra. When they passed on, I left Vigrid and my armory, and continued traveling.”

 

Jeanne lowered the guns. Slowly. “Nephilim.”

 

Ollivander inclined his head. “Indeed.”

 

Snape blinked. “Nephilim?”

 

Bayonetta shot him a glance. “Never you mind. All you need to know is that his kind crafted our weapons in the heydays.”

 

Ollivander looked slightly plaintive. “I do hope that is not why you have come. I am very much out of practice.”

 

“No. The little one needs a wand.”

 

Over Loki’s growl, Ollivander sighed in relief. “That I can do. Let us begin.”

 

~***~

 

They left nearly a half hour later, with the proud owner of a wand of Silver lime and Phoenix feather in tow.

 

To everyone’s profound relief, the rest of the trip wasn’t anywhere near as eventful. The only issue that arose was when Loki flatly refused to buy robes. “What’s good for the goose love.”

Was all he would say. Bayonetta eventually convinced the deputy head to give it up, saying she was more likely to kick the bucket before getting him to agree.

 

They  arrived back at the Leaky Cauldron to find that the Skeeter woman was still floating, though she was furiously casting spells, as were a number of bystanders and several witches in ministry robes.

 

Harry smirked at her and clicked his fingers as they walked past. He flooded away as she smashed down to the ground.

 

~***~

 

The headmaster was waiting for them when they arrived. “Ah. I trust you had a pleasant trip?”

 

Bayonetta smirked. “That depends on what the papers say tomorrow.” She threw down a rack of parchment. “Until then, we have something to discuss.”

 

The headmaster glanced at the papers and sighed. “Oh dear.”

 

“Oh dear indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for killergirlfuria for reminding me that I forgot to post here ^^;
> 
> I'm sure some are curious about those letters. No worries, they'll be discussed next chapter. As for Loki's wand, according to Pottermore, Silver lime is especially potent in the hands of a SEER, which is VERY appropriate for Loki. As for the core, Ollivander only uses the three, and the other two seem fairly unlikely. The actual wand selection scene will be flashbacked too next chapter as well.
> 
> For those who are interested, there is now a twin fic, called Butterfly. It will update concurrently with this one, give it a look if you're a fan of Infernals.


	14. Pain and Points

“Just a moment mister Potter.”

Harry stopped partway out the door. “What?”

If he was bothered by the rudeness, Dumbledore didn’t show it. “I have been made aware of an altercation between yourself and our librarian, Madame Pince.”

“I handled it.”

“According to the report, you threw a bookcase at her to do so.” He shot a look at Snape when the man let out a badly muffled snort, and steepled his hands. “I trust you have an explanation?”

“I dogeared a page in my defense text. She started shrieking about attacking books and made everything at the table fly at me.”

“You should not-“

Harry held up a hand, cutting him off. “One, it was my defense book that I bought with my own money. I can do what I like with it. And two, the only teacher that should be attacking students is mom, since that’s her job.”

The headmaster sighed and massaged his forehead, before seeming to give it up as a bad job. “I would assign detention, but I seem to be having difficulty finding an appropriate punishment, as the point of such things is to scare the student into better behavior. Fifty points from Slytherin however, and I will ask that you refrain from such violent responses in the future.” He waved him out. Then he turned to face Bayonetta properly. “I believe you had some issues in Diagon Alley?”

“If you can call this Skeeter woman an issue. She accused me of having a magically inept child.”

The headmaster sighed. “I was wondering when such accusations would be made. I have had several people write me asking if I feel the boy is in danger of becoming a Muerta or an Obscurus.”

Bayonetta could practically hear the capitalization of the words. “A what?”

“A Muerta.” He sighed again and fished a scroll out of one of his desk drawers. “Do you recognize this?”

Bayonetta and Jeanne leaned forward. After a moment Jeanne said, “That looks like a standard drawing of the Kraken.”

“It is also one of the most famous Muertas out there.” He put the scroll on the table. “It is often the result of witch or wizard being unable to accept their magic within their own life. It is typically an affliction that occurs with muggleborn children. They find themselves unable to come to grips with their magic and are unable to reconcile it with their previous magic free lifestyle. The result is that the magic takes hold, and it begins to mutate the witch or wizard. The end result is nothing short of a monster. The magic extends their lifespan and destroys their mind at the same time. Most Muertas become mindless creatures of violence and destruction. They can be restored to a more docile nature, and even rescued if the transformation is not complete. But as yet, no one has found a method to cure them once the transformation has taken hold. The giant squid in our lake is one.”

There was silence as they digested this. “I take it there have been instances before?”

The headmaster looked at Jeanne, seeming much older than he normally did. “Not all students who fail to graduate do so because of their grades. All heads of houses have had to face the situation at one time or another. Indeed, the ability to do so is a requirement for the post. It is never a pretty sight.”

“And an Obscurus?”

“A similar yet very different situation. Muerta’s use their magic. An Obscurus on the other hand bottles it up completely, until it has no choice but to explode. It usually does so in spectacular fashion, and tends to cause city wide destruction, and nearly always kills the person in question. I only know of one Obscurus that survived to an advanced age.”

“Well, little chance of that happening to Harry.” Bayonetta said.

“Which is more or less what I said in response to each of those letters.” Dumbledore said, much more cheerily. “And we have not had to deal with a rampant Muerta or Obscurus for several years now, which makes me hopeful for the future.” He frowned. “Truth be told, I am more worried for Harry’s sake than anything else right now.”

“Whatever for?”

“There have been rumblings at the ministry of magic. I’m sure you’re aware by now that the magical community in general views your son as something of a messiah?”

“Considering the press coverage, I’d say that would be a bit of an understatement.” Bayonetta said drily.

“Quite. As such the ministry of magic believes that it would be better if he were to be placed in a more magically normal family.” He winced as the air grew heavier. “I have of course, attempted to dissuade them of such a foolish notion. I believe I have successfully stymied them for the time being. A misplaced memo happened to arrive in the head offices of Gringotts and the American magical congress. I believe it didn’t go over well.”

This time Snape failed to hold in his snort.

The headmaster leaned back in his seat, looking rather satisfied. “The American’s do love their rights. By the time I left, I believe a diplomatic incident was preparing to occur. It may well be months before anything occurs on that front. It seems the American Embassy was willing to act on principle, but they became much more animated once I mentioned Professor Bayonetta.”

Bayonetta sniffed. “We have a history. When I first took Harry in, they kept sending their version of policemen after me.”

“Aurors.” Professor McGonagall supplied.

“Yes those. Apparently they weren’t aware I existed until then. Naturally I had to teach them a lesson. We eventually made a deal. I hunt down the criminals they can’t, and they deal with the fallout. I have it on good authority that for a while I had a flee on sight directive attached to me.”

Which means that for the time being, I just need to worry about him running afoul of one of the numerous artifacts that litter the castle, especially the mirror.

As the women saw themselves out, Snape couldn’t help but comment, “You’ve removed the chessboard.”

Dumbledore scowled slightly. “The game has changed. Ended really. I would be a fool not to notice that fact.”

                                                                              ~***~

“I show not your reflection, but your heart’s desire.” Harry read aloud. “Yeah, that’s not a red flag or anything.”

“How did you even find this thing mate?”

Harry grinned at Theo and Loki. “I could feel it. It’s only pouring out magic like a faucet.”

“What does it do?” Theo asked. He reached forward and tapped the frame.

“Shows you things.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “What like the future?”

Harry made a face. “Depends if it’s attainable or not. Judging from the warning, it shows you what you want more than anything else. That it happens to be something you can never have is probably just a bonus most of the time.”

“That is a depressingly accurate viewpoint.” Even Harry jumped as the headmaster shimmered into view. “I see you have discovered the Mirror of Erised.”

Harry snorted. “AKA Desire.”

“Indeed. I applaud you, both in preventing your friends from gazing into it, and understanding that the words are a warning. Great men have wasted away into nothing staring at it.”

“Why doesn’t someone just smash it?”

The cat on the desk next to Dumbledore suddenly turned into Professor Mcgonagall. She smirked when Theo and Loki clapped. “Thank you. For one thing, it is enchanted to resist such things, mister Nott.” She eyed Harry. “I do not believe it could resist you mister Potter. But I must ask you to refrain. The mirror came into the care of Hogwarts some years ago, as the castle would be deemed safest.”

She tapped her wand against her palm, ignoring the sparks this produced. “It is something of a classic example of good magic gone bad. It was never meant to cause such things.”

Harry snorted. “Have you ever heard the phrase about the road to hell?”

“An apt analogy.” McGonagall settled onto the desktop. “The story goes that a woman lost one of her two sons and fell into a deep grief. Her older son, who was skilled at mirror magic, decided to enchant this mirror so that it could show her heart’s desire.” She frowned. “Needless to say, it did not work as planned. She ended up wasting away into nothing in front of it, and in his attempts to see what went wrong, it’s creator fell under its spell as well.”

Dumbledore cleared his throat. “There have been many deaths attributed to it over the years. Given Hogwarts somewhat nebulous layout, the castle was deemed the best keeper for it.”

Loki snorted. “And no one’s ever resisted it?”

“ The happiest man alive could gaze upon it and see nothing but himself. In theory.Unfortunately the theory has yet to be proven.” He shifted slightly. “The mirror will be relocated to a new home within the castle tomorrow. I must ask that you not go looking for it.”

Harry shrugged. “Suits me. That brute can stay trapped in there for all I care. I’m more interested in that mirror you showed off in transfiguration.”

McGonagall raised an eyebrow, but dug a small compact mirror out of her pockets. “You mean this? And what “brute”?”

Harry smirked. “The angel that’s trapped in the mirror.” Ignoring their astonished looks he inspected the compact. “'This has one in it too, but it’s a lot weaker.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Mom could probably deal with it, but I can’t believe one of your lot managed to catch it. That’s probably why the mirror acts that way.”

“There is an angel inside?” The headmaster looked rightfully disturbed.

Harry grinned and flipped the compact over. “Yup. Angry one too.” He glanced at the deputy head. “Do you mind if I take this to Aunt Jeanne? I don’t think it should be hanging around people too long. It’ll mess with their heads.”

When she didn’t say anything, Harry sighed and made some sort of gesture. A few moments later both Jeanne and Bayonetta strolled in. Harry jabbed a thumb at the giant mirror by way of explanation.

Jeanne eyed it critically. “That’s quite the bruiser locked in there.” She turned to the headmaster. “Do you want us to get rid of it?”

Dumbledore shook his head. “No. The mirror will serve as one of our locks. Once it is no longer needed however, I would most definitely like you to do so. The mirror has a habit of snagging the unwary, whether they are nearby or not.”

“I’m not surprised.” She said. “It wants out. And it certainly won’t be looking to thank anybody either.”

It wasn’t until they had left that Theo asked, “What did he mean, “one of their locks?”

Harry shrugged. “Search me. As long as it’s not a problem, I’m not asking.”

                                                                               ~***~

The next day had an unusual self defense class, in that all years were present for it. Bayonetta strode to the front of the group and pulled a list out of thin air. After reading close to twenty names, she smirked. “200 points from your houses. Each.”

McGonagall closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath as she felt the house counters all drop to zero and then keep going.

Over the shouting Bayonetta continued. “And detention until Christmas. For libel and slander.” Then she tossed a sheaf of parchment into the air and let the sheets flutter over to the students. “Since you lot seem to think you’re not learning anything important, we’re going to step things up today and have you actively battle opponents.” She snapped her fingers and hundreds of angel mannequins descended from thin air.

Madame Pomfrey descended from the steps and scowled, readying her wand.

The results were not pretty.

“Thirty three broken bones, sixteen contusions, eight bruised ribs, four missing teeth, two concussions, and a broken leg.” Pomfrey read out at dinner that night. “Albus, Why did you allow that woman into the castle?”

Dumbledore sighed. “Frankly I do not believe I could have kept her out.”

A student presented himself to the mediwitch. After scanning him, she scowled. “Make that eight missing teeth and twelve bruised ribs.” To the student she said, “Meet me in the infirmary after dinner.” When he had nodded and left, she snapped “Really Headmaster, this sort of behavior-”

“Is both understandable and well within class guidelines. She had to start them on actual opponents at some point you realize.”

Madame Pomfrey subsided, looking positively homicidal. Septima Vector prudently edged away.

“I do hope-” Dumbledore’s voice was pitched to carry, and had most of the hall going silent immediately, “-that we have learned a lesson today. Both in what we are actually capable of versus what we believe we can handle, and just how much of our dung another person is willing to tolerate.” There was a muted murmuring.

“In the interest of fairness, and to prevent protracted Quidditch games Mister Wood-” He eyed a Gryffindor, who flushed, while several others gave a sigh of relief. “I shall return enough points to return all counters to zero.” The was a great clattering from the giant hourglasses at the back of the room.

“As we are now on even footing, you now have, as they say, a “do-over”. Don’t blow it.” With that, he tucked into his meal, discretely charming it to avoid retaliation from a fuming Madame Pomphrey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned! Real life kicked me hard. Look for more frequent updates throughout the year. I spent some time during NaNoWriMo hashing out the rest fo plot for this fic.
> 
> As regards Muerta’s, I consider them a step up (or Down depending on how you look at it) from Obscurus. Obscurus don’t seem to transform from what i’ve found. The basic principle is the same, but the afflicted takes it in a different directions depending.
> 
> Also if there’s an actual backstory to the mirror, I haven’t seen it. It does however allow me to bring up one fact about Infernals, Paradisian and Wizards. Namely’ that the first two do not like the third. It’ll be explained more later, but the sister fic, BUtterfly, will explain it slightly better in the new chapter.


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